Testing....that's what I'd call these last three weeks. I've been faced with a situation I didn't think in a million years was going to happen. And God has been using it to teach me to lean on Him.
I've had to understand that I am NOT in control of my life. I've been reading the Bible and doing a daily devotion and these thoughts/verses are repeatedly coming up.
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. -Isaiah 55:8
"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done." Philippians 4:6
"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives." -Psalm 37:23
"But do you know where constant worry comes from? It's rooted in an arrogance that assumes, "I know the way my life has to go, and God's not getting it right." -King's Cross
A lot of worry. A lot of confusion. A lot of sadness. That's what these verses and my devotions have been up against. And every step of the way, God has been so clear with His answers. I AM NOT IN CONTROL. And for the first time in a long time, I'm dealing with it.
Anyone that knows me or had a relationship of any kind with me, knows that this lesson has probably been the hardest for me to learn and the most difficult to accept. It's very easy to push people away or try and manipulate a situation so that I can make sure I feel that I have the safest outcome and am not hurt. No one wants to feel scared or unsure. No one wants to be overwhelmed.
I'm sure at some point we've all been there, though it's hard to admit because we want to feel like we've got it all together. You're not as confident in yourself as you portray. You're insecure about where you're at in life or the things you've done, the way you've handled things or past relationships that fell apart, both friendly and/or romantic. So you hold on too tight to something that seems permanent or you let go because you're afraid of what might happen down the road. Either way, you feel in control. And we buy that lie that satan feeds us.
When we seek Christ in our daily lives and stop trying to control everything, He can then control the directions and the outcomes.
When I finally realized that I've tried to control the outcome of things and had tried to only give God the stuff that I wanted Him to have instead of all of it, I took that power from satan and gave it back to Christ. He will direct me if I LET Him. He knows my every struggle. He knows my heart's desire. And I'm leaving it to Him. And I'm ok with that.
No comments:
Post a Comment