Worry.
It's been a big word in my life for a long time. I've always been the kind of person that worried about everything...from homework to kids to relationships. And yesterday, God decided to deal with it.
This last week in my Bible study homework, there was a lot of talk about worrying and trusting God. Laura always speaks at the beginning of SOWN for about 1/2 hour and gives a lesson on the previous week's homework, and boy, if I didn't think God was working on me through the homework, He definitely showed up in the lesson when Laura was speaking. These are some of the verses she gave:
Proverbs 12:25 -Anxiety in a man's heart weights it down, But a good word makes it glad.
Philippians 4:6 -Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God.
Worrying can be such a huge stumbling block. It takes my focus off God and what He can and DOES provide for me and puts it on myself and what I can do. And really, what can I do about it? Nothing. Worry costs me so much. It robs me from enjoying the present. The "what-if" scenarios that play in my head are torturous. And Laura said something last night that hit me like a brick...."Even if the worst of the worst what-ifs plays out, God is still God, He's still here and He's not leaving."
I've struggled with this as I've begun a new relationship with Jeremy. I worry if I'm doing the right thing. I worry if I'm being overbearing or not attentive enough. I worry how my children are being affected. I worry about being hurt again. But the fact is, God is in the middle of it and He knows what I need. He has chosen to bless me with a Christian man who's kind and considerate, a man who prays about his decisions before he makes them. Someone who cares about the fragileness of my daughters and taking the time to get to know them without pushing them. A person who sees the little things I try to do to show him I care, and acknowledges it...he lets me know it doesn't go unnoticed.
I'm constantly taking this relationship to God. I thank Him for what I went through in the past to get me where I am in my relationship today, but when I'm still worrying about it, I'm not letting God have total control. I'm praying for things in this relationship that to some, might seem trivial and not worth praying about, but if God says to take everything to Him in prayer and supplication (petitioning to God), doesn't it stand to reason that everything can be affected by prayer?! Even my trivial things.
After last night, I am confident that I'm heading in the right direction with my petitions to God regarding Jeremy and where God has me going in this venture. I'm confident that God will lead me if I let Him. And I know that I have to stop worrying about it. I don't want to be robbed of my present. I want to enjoy it. I want to live it. I want to feel it and I want to feel God's presence in the middle of it! I want to live life through Christ without the weight of worry.
What worry is weighing you down?
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Fruity Trees
God never fails to amaze me. My children and I have been so blessed these last 2 weeks. God is preparing our hearts for something great...I just know it. I can feel it!
This last Sunday, we were sitting in church and Pastor Galen brought up the tree that Jesus cursed because it bore no fruit. He talked about living the fruit of the Spririt and how we should be producing fruit for the Kingdom of God.
Now, for those of you who have read some of my previous entries, you should be aware that Peyton is on fire for God. She loves to talk about Him, serve Him, and just LIVE for Him. So it will come as no shock when I write what she said. "Mommy, am I a plain tree or a fruity tree?" You can't help but smile when your 6 year old asks that, and it gave me great joy to tell her that I believe she's a fruity tree. I explained what it means to "produce fruit" for Jesus.
Fast forward to last night. Jeremy, Peyton, and I were sitting talking about what she said about being fruity and how she said she was going to talk to her friend about Jesus and she tells Jeremy, "Mom's giving her Christian to me. She teaches me, so that I know." What a blessing to hear! I now had to explain to her about what a "testimony" is and how we live for Jesus in everything we do, to which she replies, "I can say it how I want, Mom, and I say your teaching me your Christian." Whatever you say, Peyton!
This last Sunday, we were sitting in church and Pastor Galen brought up the tree that Jesus cursed because it bore no fruit. He talked about living the fruit of the Spririt and how we should be producing fruit for the Kingdom of God.
Now, for those of you who have read some of my previous entries, you should be aware that Peyton is on fire for God. She loves to talk about Him, serve Him, and just LIVE for Him. So it will come as no shock when I write what she said. "Mommy, am I a plain tree or a fruity tree?" You can't help but smile when your 6 year old asks that, and it gave me great joy to tell her that I believe she's a fruity tree. I explained what it means to "produce fruit" for Jesus.
Fast forward to last night. Jeremy, Peyton, and I were sitting talking about what she said about being fruity and how she said she was going to talk to her friend about Jesus and she tells Jeremy, "Mom's giving her Christian to me. She teaches me, so that I know." What a blessing to hear! I now had to explain to her about what a "testimony" is and how we live for Jesus in everything we do, to which she replies, "I can say it how I want, Mom, and I say your teaching me your Christian." Whatever you say, Peyton!
And really, no matter how she says it, it makes me happy! For so long, I wasn't a great Christian example for my children. Now it's what I strive for everyday; to show them how to serve Christ. I'm so thankful she sees it and wants to live it! McKenna even says she sees such a difference in our family life, how we interact, how we live for Jesus. That's all I can hope for....2 wonderful daughters that gave their lives to Christ, (one at the age of 5 and one at the age of 6) and who see it in our home and live it out loud!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Moving On!
I love how God works. I love how He can restore a person to wholeness again when they feel broken and hurt. I love how you can be away from God, be disconnected, not be in church, or not be surrounded by a body of believers for a time and when you finally fall to your knees and ask God to bring you back to Him, He always does.
I've had such a rough go of things since December. I never walked away from Him and never questioned why I was going through things. I just trusted that there was a purpose, a growing period, for me to be in the situation. And He has never failed me. He has healed those hurts and that brokenness that I felt. He knit the pieces of my heart back together at just the perfect time when I thought they could never be put back together. He brought my joy back...which I missed! There's nothing like being so filled with happiness that you just can't help but smile at anything, everything, because nothing can take away that feeling of being just plain satisfied with life!
I love that He let me go through the trials in my previous relationship to bring me back to Him, that He found me the right church to feed me spiritually, and the right people to mentor me and guide me!
I'm so ready for this new journey of my life! My eyes are opened, I'm searching through Him instead of through myself. I'm so excited about the people that God has put in my path. It's time for great things!
I've had such a rough go of things since December. I never walked away from Him and never questioned why I was going through things. I just trusted that there was a purpose, a growing period, for me to be in the situation. And He has never failed me. He has healed those hurts and that brokenness that I felt. He knit the pieces of my heart back together at just the perfect time when I thought they could never be put back together. He brought my joy back...which I missed! There's nothing like being so filled with happiness that you just can't help but smile at anything, everything, because nothing can take away that feeling of being just plain satisfied with life!
I love that He let me go through the trials in my previous relationship to bring me back to Him, that He found me the right church to feed me spiritually, and the right people to mentor me and guide me!
I'm so ready for this new journey of my life! My eyes are opened, I'm searching through Him instead of through myself. I'm so excited about the people that God has put in my path. It's time for great things!
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