Mustard seed faith

"And He said to her, 'Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.'"-Luke 8:48

This verse and the story that goes with it, really has me thinking today.  For those who don't know the story, Jesus was walking to a man's house who had a sick daughter and there was a large crowd gathered around Him as He walked.  In the middle of all of these people, was a woman who had a blood disorder going on 12 years.  As He was walking, she reached out and touched the hem or fringe of his coat and she was immediately healed.  Jesus stopped and asked who touched Him because he "was aware that power had gone out of Me."  The woman stepped forward, afraid, and fell at His feet and confessed that it had been her and why she had done it.  And he told her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace."

How amazing could our lives be, how much joy could we have if we just trusted and had that kind of faith!  The kind of faith where we KNOW that all we need to do is just reach out a little, just a little, and we'll be healed? 

Maybe you're too afraid to ask Him, maybe you're afraid you're not worthy enough.  I think so many times we think we're insignificant to Him.  Why would He listen to us?  There are so many more pressing issues we think when, in reality, we ARE his most pressing need.  Each and every one of us.  He says "Come to Me.  Ask.  Let Me help you.  Let Me heal you."  And all it takes is that little bit of faith; just reaching out and trusting that even if it's His coat or His shoe or even God Himself that we touch, His power will go out and restore us. 

That's the kind of faith I want to have....mustard seed faith; a faith so small but that can reward so greatly.

Butt Glue....Oh and Boobs.

No....you read it right.  Butt glue!  This was a whole new experience for me!  This last weekend, I volunteered at a Galaxy Beauty Pageant and had a blast doing it.  Until I realized one of the tasks I would have would be the butt glue guru!

For those who don't know what butt glue is, it's a tacky substance that's in a roll-on "deodarant" type stick.  You (as you might have guessed) roll it on your tush where the edge of your bathing suit goes and it adheres to the material so your bathing suit doesn't crawl up while you're walking around in your heels on stage!  Enter Erin....."Next." Each girl hands me her own stick of butt glue and I get to (yay!) pull their bathing suit bottoms up and (YES!) roll it on.  Then a little pat, pat, pat to keep it in place.  "Good luck, honey," and they're off!  They thought it was pretty funny when I looked at one of them and said, "You know, if I had a boyfriend, he'd be jealous right now!" 

By the way, butt glue also works on keeping your boobs in place in a dress, too!  (Bet you didn't know that.)  I haven't manhandled that many pairs of boobs or butts since....well I've NEVER manhandled that many boobs or butts!

So, there you go.  Butt glue.

Draw near to God

James 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.  Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

This verse lays on my heart...more so lately.  I seek to draw near to Him on a daily basis.  I know when I'm close to Him, because I feel it.  No matter what chaos is in my life, no matter how much I'm hurting, no matter what's on the agenda for the day, I can sense His presence.  I have a peace that surpasses all the "yuck" that I may be feeling and I know that He is with me.

When I'm not letting Him have control, I feel separated.  I feel lonely.  I feel apart from Him.  It's not a great feeling.  There have been seasons in my life where I've said, "Look, God, I'll do this on my own.  I want to seek You, but I'm busy, so I'll work things out with You when I have time."  Ya....not worked so well for me.  Days of trying to do it in my own time turned into weeks, turned into months.  Before I realized, I was so far in my own business and so much in the world, that I was the farthest I'd ever been from God.

Which leads me to the second half of the verse..."Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded."  Someone once asked me what double-minded meant.  It means divided allegiance.  When you live in the world and try to BE in the world, too, while still having a fruitful relationship with Christ, you divide your time...and it's never an even divide.  Christ tells us to be in the world, but not OF the world.  When we divide our allegiance between God and the world, we're not giving it all to Christ.

I don't want divided allegiance.  I want to live for Him and let Him direct my path.  I don't want to be of the world.  I want to be separate from it.  I want people to see His love shining through me. 

I don't want to just seek Him when I have a spare minute, and I don't want to wait until the last minute to do it either, because I could end up missing out on the greatest blessings He's trying to give me.

If you draw near to Him, He'll ALWAYS draw near to you......and what a great feeling it is!

The Cool Factor

Have I lost my coolness?  I always wanted to be that mom that everyone liked to be around, the house where everyone gathered, the mom that all the kids hang around at the school meeting.

Alas, I guess this is not to be!  McKenna had a literacy bingo night last night at her school.  We got our food and went to sit down.  McKenna took a quick glance towards me....and ushered her friends to another table!  WHAT?!  You DON'T want to be near me?!  But I'm dressed normal.  I have sparkly fashionable shoes, I say funny things.  WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, MCKENNA?!  I look at her, shocked, and she mouths the word "no" to me. 

So I do what any normal mother would do.  I text her and say, "But I'm a cool mom."  She laughs, shows her friends (who laugh, too) and they all turn around and acknowledge me.  Thank goodness....I'm not completely horrifying to my girl yet!

Proverbs 31

I'm embarking on a new journey.  Well, not really so new for me, but I digress.

I don't know who or what God has in store for me anymore.  I used to think I knew God's plan, but pretty much everything I thought, God said, "Surprise!  Not really!"  So I've just been listening and learning to be patient....NOT one of my strong suits and Mom, I don't need you to agree.

Many of you know I've been really studying this year how to be the best wife I can be.  I've been reading books like Before You Plan Your Wedding, Plan Your Marriage and Love and Respect.  Well, plans have unfortunately changed, but my feelings haven't. No matter who God has for me, I still want to be the best.  So I've decided to study and memorize Proverbs 31:10-31!  It's a passage in the Bible about being a Godly wife. 

I know there are people out there who think that this goal is stupid, who think that me wanting a "God-honoring marriage" is silly, after all who really needs God as the center of your marriage if you love each other!?  But to those people out there, I say to you.....Been there, done that.  And I don't want it anymore. 

So, you'll probably see some posts over the next several weeks about some things I've taken away from that passage and EVENTUALLY, if we're hanging out, you can ask me to recite the passage and I'll say, "With pleasure!"

Deliverance

I've been going through a rough time.  A really rough time.  I have been faced with a situation that I never thought would happen again....separation from a person I deeply love and care about.  And yet, God manages to sustain me during this difficult time.

Something struck me as I was reading through my weekly Sown Bible study that I wanted to share with all of you:  God may not save us from the problem, but He will deliver you out of it.  Did you get that?  He won't SAVE us, but He will DELIVER us. 

So many times, over these last 2 weeks, I've cried out to God, begging Him to take my pain away, to give willing hearts allowing Him to work, to let me trust Him to fix it.  And He's given the same answer to me the same amount of times....the experience I've had for the past year has grown me.  It has changed who I am in Christ. 

I don't just want to sit on the sidelines.  I want to be in the game.  I want to be an amazing mother.  I want to teach my children how to love God with abandon.  I want to teach them how to honor God and worship Him because He's worthy of it.  I want to be a great wife.  I want to honor my husband and respect him and cherish him as only a wife can.  I want to be one with my husband.  I want to put him first and him do the same.  I want to always have his back and I want to know he always has mine.  I want people to see me and say "WOW.....why does she always seem like, no matter what, she's joyful and content?!"

And that's why God doesn't save us.  When He's ready, He'll deliver me.  I have no doubt.  I cry out to Him and I pray that things can be reconciled, but I also know that God will provide the most amazing future for Shawn's family and for mine, if we'll only let Him. 

I'm thankful He DIDN'T save me from this, but I do look forward to His complete deliverance.