I'm always encouraged when I listen to Peyton pray. She comes to Jesus exactly how he asks us to, with the faith of a child. She far exceeds her years in intelligence. Here's a little backstory and then her prayer from Saturday night.
Shawn left Saturday morning and I had the task of not only explaining to the girls what was going on with our wedding plans but also comforting them because they were already missing having him around. Throughout the day, Peyton was throwing major fits and being mean, so I told her to go to her room until she could calm down. It took about 15 minutes, but she finally relaxed enough for us to enjoy the rest of the day together.
That night, when she prayed, this is what she said..."Jesus, I wasn't able to control my feelings very well today and I took it out on Mommy. I know I'm sad because Shawn left, and I just want to ask you to help me feel better about it. I'm sorry to Mommy for not being nice and I want her and you to forgive me. Please wash my heart white and take that sin away and help me not to do it again."
I'M NOT KIDDING. Her exact words. I remember them because I was shocked they came out of a 6-year-old's mouth. This is why I want so much to live for God....for my kids.
And then, to top off my super fabulous evening, McKenna let me know that her and her friend would like to go to the church youth group this weekend!
Music to my ears from both my girls!!!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
The Past, Present, or Future?
God has taken me on the most amazing journey this week.
In fact, so many things are running through my head that God has laid on me, you'll have to forgive me if I ramble. I'm probably going to bullet point it....THAT'S how excited I am!!!!
1. I started my Bible Study, SOWN, at church this last Tuesday. We are doing a ten week study of Philippians and already, I'm getting so much out of it. The biggest thing probably isn't even anything about Philippians, either. (I love how God takes something and transforms it for you into something so magnificent and special!) "God reveals Himself to us all the time, but it's up to us what we choose to do with that revelation"....this was written in the study and I was so taken by it. I wonder how many times God has shown me something and I choose to do things my own way because (to me) it's safe, when really, how much safer can you be than in doing what God has revealed for you to do?! This was huge for me.
2. How many times do we feel that Biblical knowledge translates to a strong walk with God and being a good spiritual leader? This came up in a conversation with some dear friends and it also really made me stop and reflect. I think that Biblical knowledge is important. I love that I know and have memorized verses from the Bible and I know a lot of Bible stories, because I think it's important to share those with my children. It shows them that I'm studying or have studied God's Word. But what about the Christian who is spiritually bankrupt (another great one I got from by Bible study!)? A person can know the Bible inside and out and being withering on the inside, not watering their spiritual garden.
This is how I was for years. I was saved when I was young. I memorized the verses and stories but when it came to having a walk with God, it was all talk. I could witness with the best of them, but if you had turned my body inside out and had seen my heart, you would've seen the Holy Spirit weeping because He was TRYING to speak to me and I had my earplugs in. With a FAITHFUL walk, the Bible knowledge comes. It may take time, but as long as you go to God, "I'm coming to you with a willing heart," and let Him take over, He will give to you the knowledge that you need to follow and trust Him. And showing your family that change of heart and your desire to follow Christ is quite possibly one of the greatest gifts you can give your family as a spiritual leader. God gave a husband his wife and a wife her husband to not only love each other, but also to help each other grow in grace and truth, following God's plan. One of the greatest things I can give to my future husband is my willingness to come along side him and nurture his desire to walk with God.
3. I began reading The Shack after several years of people telling me to pick it up and it has blown me away. Something in particular I read struck me so hard, it brought tears to my eyes. In the book Jesus challenges Mack with this question, "Do you live in the past, the present or the future?"
And I stopped. Such a small question. And I began to cry. I live in the past and the future. I live hanging on sometimes to the things that make me feel comfortable and secure. And I definitely am living in the future. As Shawn can attest, I'm constantly thinking about what needs to be done to strengthen our relationship and build my family and, in general, trying to figure the future out. But why do I do that?
Jesus said in the book, "It is your desperate attempt to get some control over something you can't. It is impossible for you to take power over the future because it isn't even real, nor will it ever be real. You try and play God, imagining the evil that you fear becoming reality, and then you try and make plans and contingencies to avoid what you fear....but when I dwell with you, I do so in the present--I live in the present."
Wow.....it makes me think about how even though I feel my walk with God is strong, how much stronger can it really be if I stop trying to create my future or hold on to my past and just rest in God....in the present? I want HIM to mold my future and I want to trust His design for me.
Have any of you had something rock you so hard, it made you stop like that and question "How much do I really trust in You, Lord?"
In fact, so many things are running through my head that God has laid on me, you'll have to forgive me if I ramble. I'm probably going to bullet point it....THAT'S how excited I am!!!!
1. I started my Bible Study, SOWN, at church this last Tuesday. We are doing a ten week study of Philippians and already, I'm getting so much out of it. The biggest thing probably isn't even anything about Philippians, either. (I love how God takes something and transforms it for you into something so magnificent and special!) "God reveals Himself to us all the time, but it's up to us what we choose to do with that revelation"....this was written in the study and I was so taken by it. I wonder how many times God has shown me something and I choose to do things my own way because (to me) it's safe, when really, how much safer can you be than in doing what God has revealed for you to do?! This was huge for me.
2. How many times do we feel that Biblical knowledge translates to a strong walk with God and being a good spiritual leader? This came up in a conversation with some dear friends and it also really made me stop and reflect. I think that Biblical knowledge is important. I love that I know and have memorized verses from the Bible and I know a lot of Bible stories, because I think it's important to share those with my children. It shows them that I'm studying or have studied God's Word. But what about the Christian who is spiritually bankrupt (another great one I got from by Bible study!)? A person can know the Bible inside and out and being withering on the inside, not watering their spiritual garden.
This is how I was for years. I was saved when I was young. I memorized the verses and stories but when it came to having a walk with God, it was all talk. I could witness with the best of them, but if you had turned my body inside out and had seen my heart, you would've seen the Holy Spirit weeping because He was TRYING to speak to me and I had my earplugs in. With a FAITHFUL walk, the Bible knowledge comes. It may take time, but as long as you go to God, "I'm coming to you with a willing heart," and let Him take over, He will give to you the knowledge that you need to follow and trust Him. And showing your family that change of heart and your desire to follow Christ is quite possibly one of the greatest gifts you can give your family as a spiritual leader. God gave a husband his wife and a wife her husband to not only love each other, but also to help each other grow in grace and truth, following God's plan. One of the greatest things I can give to my future husband is my willingness to come along side him and nurture his desire to walk with God.
3. I began reading The Shack after several years of people telling me to pick it up and it has blown me away. Something in particular I read struck me so hard, it brought tears to my eyes. In the book Jesus challenges Mack with this question, "Do you live in the past, the present or the future?"
And I stopped. Such a small question. And I began to cry. I live in the past and the future. I live hanging on sometimes to the things that make me feel comfortable and secure. And I definitely am living in the future. As Shawn can attest, I'm constantly thinking about what needs to be done to strengthen our relationship and build my family and, in general, trying to figure the future out. But why do I do that?
Jesus said in the book, "It is your desperate attempt to get some control over something you can't. It is impossible for you to take power over the future because it isn't even real, nor will it ever be real. You try and play God, imagining the evil that you fear becoming reality, and then you try and make plans and contingencies to avoid what you fear....but when I dwell with you, I do so in the present--I live in the present."
Wow.....it makes me think about how even though I feel my walk with God is strong, how much stronger can it really be if I stop trying to create my future or hold on to my past and just rest in God....in the present? I want HIM to mold my future and I want to trust His design for me.
Have any of you had something rock you so hard, it made you stop like that and question "How much do I really trust in You, Lord?"
Monday, February 14, 2011
WHAT?!
Peyton has a game that her friend and she made up and Peyton is a GENIUS at playing. It's a pretty funny game....if you're 6!
The game is called "What." The only object of this game is to get another person to say the word "what." So the leader (or the person who starts it) might say something like "Guess what?" to you and if you say the word, then you're it and you have to get someone to say it. There's no start to this game. Peyton will just randomly say to you, "Hey, guess what?" and if I say what, she goes crazy! "HAHAHAHAH, YOU SAID THE WORD!!!!" You can try and get her to stumble and say it and she just doesn't do it! You say something that requires a response like the word and she says "yes?" or "hunh?" or she spells it (because apparently that's legal in this game)! "Guess what, Peyton?" "W-H-A-T?" It's hilarious!
When she plays the game with someone who's new at it or isn't very good, it can be pretty entertaining. Enter Shawn....
He's been playing this game with her throughout the week, but she got him so good this weekend. He was trying to do whatever he could to trip her up. He was mumbling so low, you couldn't understand him and she kept saying, "hunh?" over and over again. So he says it one last time, to which she replies....
(exact words) "I don't know blank you're saying!" We just about died laughing! She is too good and I am amazed everyday at how quick she thinks on the fly!
The game is called "What." The only object of this game is to get another person to say the word "what." So the leader (or the person who starts it) might say something like "Guess what?" to you and if you say the word, then you're it and you have to get someone to say it. There's no start to this game. Peyton will just randomly say to you, "Hey, guess what?" and if I say what, she goes crazy! "HAHAHAHAH, YOU SAID THE WORD!!!!" You can try and get her to stumble and say it and she just doesn't do it! You say something that requires a response like the word and she says "yes?" or "hunh?" or she spells it (because apparently that's legal in this game)! "Guess what, Peyton?" "W-H-A-T?" It's hilarious!
When she plays the game with someone who's new at it or isn't very good, it can be pretty entertaining. Enter Shawn....
He's been playing this game with her throughout the week, but she got him so good this weekend. He was trying to do whatever he could to trip her up. He was mumbling so low, you couldn't understand him and she kept saying, "hunh?" over and over again. So he says it one last time, to which she replies....
(exact words) "I don't know blank you're saying!" We just about died laughing! She is too good and I am amazed everyday at how quick she thinks on the fly!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Nostalgic School Lunches
Peyton asked Shawn and I if we would eat lunch with her at school, so we trekked over there today. Now, for those of you who grew up in the Laramie County school system, you know that there was always one lunch that stood out better than the rest. It was the one hot lunch that almost everyone ate and they only had it once a month. You know what I'm talking about......chili and cinnamon roll day! And they STILL do it! (Only now my daughter is fortunate enough to have it TWO times a month!) I don't think the recipe has changed in the 20+ years they've been doing it. The only thing different is the cinnamon roll is now a wheat cinnamon roll.
I thought it was really funny when Shawn (who did NOT grow up here) looked around, saw several other parents eating with their children and asks, "Is this the only day they allow parents to come eat with their kids?" No, foolish one, it's just the only day that kids still LIKE eating hot lunch!
I thought it was really funny when Shawn (who did NOT grow up here) looked around, saw several other parents eating with their children and asks, "Is this the only day they allow parents to come eat with their kids?" No, foolish one, it's just the only day that kids still LIKE eating hot lunch!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Selfless Giving
I was doing my Bible reading today and a very short story popped out at me that I want to share. It can be found in Matthew 26:6-13. It's the story of the woman in Bethany who anointed Jesus with a very expensive perfume.
The disciples chastised her for "wasting" it by pouring it on Jesus and not doing something selfless like selling it and giving it to the poor. And it got me thinking about so many things. How many of us do that very thing with our time, money, or spiritual gifts? We don't give it to Jesus because we're so busy in our own lives that we foget to honor God. Or maybe we're involved in the church....so involved that we're running around in circles helping everyone else (giving to the "poor") all the while forgetting that the real reason we should be doing this is to honor God, not so people can see how hard we're working for God and not for self-gratification.
How about when we do something like selling something so that we can give it to the poor just like the disciples suggested....how many times, and I know I've been guilty of this in the past, do we make sure that everyone can see our sacrifice so that people will see how much we care or how much we love Jesus?
I want to be that woman. I want to be the woman that honors God with EVERYTHING. I want to be the woman who doesn't care who sees every time I serve Jesus. Who just serves Jesus because that's what she wants to do. Who gives her most expensive perfume to Jesus to anoint him. Who serves God because my love for Him is so great, it's like a void when I DON'T give to Him.
The disciples chastised her for "wasting" it by pouring it on Jesus and not doing something selfless like selling it and giving it to the poor. And it got me thinking about so many things. How many of us do that very thing with our time, money, or spiritual gifts? We don't give it to Jesus because we're so busy in our own lives that we foget to honor God. Or maybe we're involved in the church....so involved that we're running around in circles helping everyone else (giving to the "poor") all the while forgetting that the real reason we should be doing this is to honor God, not so people can see how hard we're working for God and not for self-gratification.
How about when we do something like selling something so that we can give it to the poor just like the disciples suggested....how many times, and I know I've been guilty of this in the past, do we make sure that everyone can see our sacrifice so that people will see how much we care or how much we love Jesus?
I want to be that woman. I want to be the woman that honors God with EVERYTHING. I want to be the woman who doesn't care who sees every time I serve Jesus. Who just serves Jesus because that's what she wants to do. Who gives her most expensive perfume to Jesus to anoint him. Who serves God because my love for Him is so great, it's like a void when I DON'T give to Him.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Good Fortune!
Tonight after church, I took the girls to Mongolian Grill for dinner. McKenna and I love the food and Peyton loves the fortune cookies. Anyway, we got a pretty big laugh out of our fortunes....MOST were pretty realistic!
Peyton's fortune:
My fortune:
McKenna's fortune:
Hope you enjoy as much as we did!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Clean Your Cup
How many of us leave the house in the morning and try to look our absolute worst? You know what I'm talking about....mismatched socks, teeth brushing forgotten, stains on the shirt, hair not combed?! Me either. We always try to look our best. But how many of us, even though we take the time to make sure our outward appearance is up to par, forget to check the inside? Which leads me to my Bible reading this morning.
Matthew 23: 25&26-Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.
Yuck. Self-reflection time...and I thought I was doing so good! I try so hard to make sure I look presentable and good when I go out, when I go to work, when I'm with my friends, or when I go to church, but how many times (if I really thought about it) does the outside look great to people, but my inside is black? I might have a poor attitude or be angry that morning. Maybe I'm grumpy because my favorite shoe went missing or my daughters aren't listening. Maybe I know God's telling me something I should do different in my life, and I'm openly defiant to what He's telling me to do Who knows what it is.
Jesus tells them clean up the inside, so that the outside can shine, too! When we have our hearts right and we're in submission to God's authority, it makes us shine. When we confess that sin to Christ or give up the bad attitude, we gleam. Our countenance is different. People see a difference.
I have not always had the most faithful walk. I accepted Christ when I was 5. I grew up in church and always knew what was right as far as having a personal relationship with Christ. But let me be the first to say, I usually NEVER made the right choices! And for the last 2 years, I've been working on changing that.
And people see it. People tell me they can hear the joy in heart when I speak, they can see the contentment I have after I decided to let God have control of my life. They see a peace that they didn't before. I don't write these things to be lifted up. I write these things because those 2 verses sum up what's different. I scrubbed out the inside of my "cup" so that my cup can run over....run over with His love.
I challenge you to clean your cup....inside AND out!
Matthew 23: 25&26-Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.
Yuck. Self-reflection time...and I thought I was doing so good! I try so hard to make sure I look presentable and good when I go out, when I go to work, when I'm with my friends, or when I go to church, but how many times (if I really thought about it) does the outside look great to people, but my inside is black? I might have a poor attitude or be angry that morning. Maybe I'm grumpy because my favorite shoe went missing or my daughters aren't listening. Maybe I know God's telling me something I should do different in my life, and I'm openly defiant to what He's telling me to do Who knows what it is.
Jesus tells them clean up the inside, so that the outside can shine, too! When we have our hearts right and we're in submission to God's authority, it makes us shine. When we confess that sin to Christ or give up the bad attitude, we gleam. Our countenance is different. People see a difference.
I have not always had the most faithful walk. I accepted Christ when I was 5. I grew up in church and always knew what was right as far as having a personal relationship with Christ. But let me be the first to say, I usually NEVER made the right choices! And for the last 2 years, I've been working on changing that.
And people see it. People tell me they can hear the joy in heart when I speak, they can see the contentment I have after I decided to let God have control of my life. They see a peace that they didn't before. I don't write these things to be lifted up. I write these things because those 2 verses sum up what's different. I scrubbed out the inside of my "cup" so that my cup can run over....run over with His love.
I challenge you to clean your cup....inside AND out!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Really....Exodus?!
For those of you who read the Bible, Exodus can be kind of boring. Don't get me wrong. There are stories and they're pretty good, but it tends to be a section of the Bible that sometimes get missed, because we're always looking for the Godwinks in places like Psalm, Proverbs, or any place in the New Testament!
But for some reason, God seems to love to speak to me from this book.
When my first husband walked out 8 years ago, I was experiencing some really low lows. He, in the beginning, was fighting me for custody, and I was really struggling. I was feeling overpowered and scared. One morning about 5 days before our hearing, I was reading my Bible. I always pray right before I get started reading that God would show me what He wants to say to me and help me to get something out of it, no matter how small or trivial. And that morning was no exception. He led me to read the story of how God led the Israelites to a great victory over the Egyptians, how He helped them, the little guy, against the great big, bad Egypt. And I knew He was trying to get my attention. I didn't need to worry. He was going to take care of me. And He did...the next day, Jason agreed to sign the papers, and just like that, it was taken care of.
Today, I was reading in Exodus and He spoke again! Exodus 17:12-"But Moses' hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and Hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun." To anyone else, just another verse in a boring chapter, but to me, it was like He was working in my heart! I've been struggling with a situation in my life. For now, I'd rather not write in detail about it, but here's the little that will help you understand right now, what I'm going through...
I want to live my life for Jesus. I want to surround myself with Christian friends and family. I want people to see the love of Jesus shining through me, through my relationships. I want to make my God first, my husband second, my children third, and THEN comes everyone else. And the struggle is that not everyone in my life wants to commit the same way I do.
So, here's where the verse comes in. Sometimes, I struggle with whether or not I'm doing the right thing in my situation....standing up for what I believe makes a good and solid relationship. And then I read a verse like this that just confirms God has me on the right track. God gave Moses 2 men, Aaron and Hur who, when Moses was tired from holding up his arms on that mountain so that the Israelites could win the battle, sat on either side of him and held his arms up for him. God surrounded him with good, Godly friends who helped to strengthen him. And that's what God wants me to do. He wants me to surround myself with good, Godly friends and family to build me up in my walk with God, to strengthen me when I feel weak, to encourage me to keep going. He doesn't want my closest friends/family to be the ones that make me stumble or not follow His will, or keep me from trusting Him.
And THAT makes me feel strong!
But for some reason, God seems to love to speak to me from this book.
When my first husband walked out 8 years ago, I was experiencing some really low lows. He, in the beginning, was fighting me for custody, and I was really struggling. I was feeling overpowered and scared. One morning about 5 days before our hearing, I was reading my Bible. I always pray right before I get started reading that God would show me what He wants to say to me and help me to get something out of it, no matter how small or trivial. And that morning was no exception. He led me to read the story of how God led the Israelites to a great victory over the Egyptians, how He helped them, the little guy, against the great big, bad Egypt. And I knew He was trying to get my attention. I didn't need to worry. He was going to take care of me. And He did...the next day, Jason agreed to sign the papers, and just like that, it was taken care of.
Today, I was reading in Exodus and He spoke again! Exodus 17:12-"But Moses' hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and Hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun." To anyone else, just another verse in a boring chapter, but to me, it was like He was working in my heart! I've been struggling with a situation in my life. For now, I'd rather not write in detail about it, but here's the little that will help you understand right now, what I'm going through...
I want to live my life for Jesus. I want to surround myself with Christian friends and family. I want people to see the love of Jesus shining through me, through my relationships. I want to make my God first, my husband second, my children third, and THEN comes everyone else. And the struggle is that not everyone in my life wants to commit the same way I do.
So, here's where the verse comes in. Sometimes, I struggle with whether or not I'm doing the right thing in my situation....standing up for what I believe makes a good and solid relationship. And then I read a verse like this that just confirms God has me on the right track. God gave Moses 2 men, Aaron and Hur who, when Moses was tired from holding up his arms on that mountain so that the Israelites could win the battle, sat on either side of him and held his arms up for him. God surrounded him with good, Godly friends who helped to strengthen him. And that's what God wants me to do. He wants me to surround myself with good, Godly friends and family to build me up in my walk with God, to strengthen me when I feel weak, to encourage me to keep going. He doesn't want my closest friends/family to be the ones that make me stumble or not follow His will, or keep me from trusting Him.
And THAT makes me feel strong!
What I mean
The title--I'm sure you're all wondering, with bated breath, to hear why I chose this! Well, a couple of reasons. For those of you who know me and my past or my fears, know I have this enormous fear of flying. I barely survived a near catastrophic plane crash when I was 11, leaving me scarred for life. Ok...I'm lying. ONE engine went out over the ocean, we had to dump fuel (as a precaution) and had an uneventful emergency landing in Canada. Not really that bad, but when you're 11, it becomes you almost died. Unfortunately, as I've gotten older, my ridiculous fear has become somewhat melodramatic. And it's almost comical to listen to me as I prepare for a flight; I've got my Xanax, I pray about 56 times...days leading up to the flight, on the drive to get to the plane, as I'm checking in my bags, as I'm walking on the bridge to get to the plane, on the plane, as we're taking off, as we level off. You get the idea!
The other reason I chose that title is simple. I want my christian impact on my kids to be so great, they have to brace for it because of its power. I want to show them with my words and actions, just how amazing God is. How great a walk with God can really be. How, if you trust Christ to take care of you, His arms will wrap around you so tightly, that even in your darkest hour, you'll still feel the enormous weight of His love.
This blog will be about my 2 fabulous daughters and the amazing things they accomplish. It'll be about how God is working in our lives. At times, it may be brutally honest, exposing my weaknesses and greatest heartaches. At time, it'll probably be more therapy for me than fun for you! I hope whoever reads it gets something out of it, regardless. Enjoy!
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