Testing....that's what I'd call these last three weeks. I've been faced with a situation I didn't think in a million years was going to happen. And God has been using it to teach me to lean on Him.
I've had to understand that I am NOT in control of my life. I've been reading the Bible and doing a daily devotion and these thoughts/verses are repeatedly coming up.
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. -Isaiah 55:8
"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done." Philippians 4:6
"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives." -Psalm 37:23
"But do you know where constant worry comes from? It's rooted in an arrogance that assumes, "I know the way my life has to go, and God's not getting it right." -King's Cross
A lot of worry. A lot of confusion. A lot of sadness. That's what these verses and my devotions have been up against. And every step of the way, God has been so clear with His answers. I AM NOT IN CONTROL. And for the first time in a long time, I'm dealing with it.
Anyone that knows me or had a relationship of any kind with me, knows that this lesson has probably been the hardest for me to learn and the most difficult to accept. It's very easy to push people away or try and manipulate a situation so that I can make sure I feel that I have the safest outcome and am not hurt. No one wants to feel scared or unsure. No one wants to be overwhelmed.
I'm sure at some point we've all been there, though it's hard to admit because we want to feel like we've got it all together. You're not as confident in yourself as you portray. You're insecure about where you're at in life or the things you've done, the way you've handled things or past relationships that fell apart, both friendly and/or romantic. So you hold on too tight to something that seems permanent or you let go because you're afraid of what might happen down the road. Either way, you feel in control. And we buy that lie that satan feeds us.
When we seek Christ in our daily lives and stop trying to control everything, He can then control the directions and the outcomes.
When I finally realized that I've tried to control the outcome of things and had tried to only give God the stuff that I wanted Him to have instead of all of it, I took that power from satan and gave it back to Christ. He will direct me if I LET Him. He knows my every struggle. He knows my heart's desire. And I'm leaving it to Him. And I'm ok with that.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thanksgiving...
I've been thinking a lot about what I have to be thankful for this year. It's definitely been a trying year, full of ups and downs, heartaches, happiness, job loss, job gain. A possible move that turned into a non-move! Time spent with people I love and want to be near. Time APART from people I love and want to be near. But through it all, God has just blessed me in so many ways. Here are just a few:
I'm thankful for McKenna. My oldest. My ham. My personality. She is so much a wonderful mixture of the best bits of both mom and dad and I couldn't ask for a better teenager! She has been such a blessing to me, helpful in so many ways. She's turning into such a young lady!
Peyton is a reason to be thankful for, as well. She's my dreamer, my Sugarbean. She has such a girlish quality about her, yet still maintains her tomboyish charm! She's got a servant's heart and always loves to make me happy.
God provided me with a job at a Christian office. I have an environment that encourages talk of God and puts Him first in all aspects of the office...I love it! He's also given me an exciting opportunity to co-lead in Sown, our women's Bible study group. During that time, He has challenged me to seek Him more, love Him more, be DESPERATE for Him.
I'm also thankful that He's shown me where I need to grow and change; where I need to trust Him.
I'm thankful for my family---my mom who loves me and helps me in every way possible. My dad, who loves me in spite of me! My brother and sister-in-law who love me and pray for me.
I'm thankful for my Chicago family, too. I can't be near them like I want to yet, but I'll be there soon. Sheree-who is steady and encouraging, who prays for me and my girls. For Jeremy, who sticks it out with me, even when I act crazy some (actually most) days from missing him! (And a shout out to the Minnesota crew-Danielle seems to send me a message that is encouraging exactly when I need it.)
There's so much more that I'm thankful for. But those are the bigger ones. Here's to one more year of things to be thankful for.
I'm thankful for McKenna. My oldest. My ham. My personality. She is so much a wonderful mixture of the best bits of both mom and dad and I couldn't ask for a better teenager! She has been such a blessing to me, helpful in so many ways. She's turning into such a young lady!
Peyton is a reason to be thankful for, as well. She's my dreamer, my Sugarbean. She has such a girlish quality about her, yet still maintains her tomboyish charm! She's got a servant's heart and always loves to make me happy.
God provided me with a job at a Christian office. I have an environment that encourages talk of God and puts Him first in all aspects of the office...I love it! He's also given me an exciting opportunity to co-lead in Sown, our women's Bible study group. During that time, He has challenged me to seek Him more, love Him more, be DESPERATE for Him.
I'm also thankful that He's shown me where I need to grow and change; where I need to trust Him.
I'm thankful for my family---my mom who loves me and helps me in every way possible. My dad, who loves me in spite of me! My brother and sister-in-law who love me and pray for me.
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| Love you, Mom! |
I'm thankful for my Chicago family, too. I can't be near them like I want to yet, but I'll be there soon. Sheree-who is steady and encouraging, who prays for me and my girls. For Jeremy, who sticks it out with me, even when I act crazy some (actually most) days from missing him! (And a shout out to the Minnesota crew-Danielle seems to send me a message that is encouraging exactly when I need it.)
There's so much more that I'm thankful for. But those are the bigger ones. Here's to one more year of things to be thankful for.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
A Dedication
Dedication of children in a church....parents do it all the time. You see proud moms and dads with grandparents and whoever else standing in the front of a church with their babies and toddlers and having a dedication done.
What is a dedication you ask? A dedication is a ceremony (for lack of a better term) that is done during church in which a child is dedicated to God. The pastor and perhaps even a few Godly men will pray over the child and his or her parents during that time. However, the dedication is less about the children and more about the parent.
To me, a dedication is about the parent taking responsibility in training up their child in Christ's ways. You are saying that you will raise your children in a Christlike home, teaching them about Christ's love, and showing them how to live it out loud. You are saying that you are in it 100% to make sure that your child is raised up with Christ's love pouring over onto them, so that there is never a doubt who made them, who loved them, who gave His life for them, and who will come again for them one day. It's a bold statement to all who witness this. And those people that are there....your friends and your family? They're there to witness this commitment that you're making.
This is something I never did with either of my girls. I grew up in church and so did they, but for whatever reason, I didn't do it. And now, I'm ready to make that statement. So, on November 19th during the 6pm service at Cheyenne Hills Church, I'm going to have my 13 year old and 7 year old daughters dedicated. It's unusual to see older children up there, but when I talked to Pastor Galen about it, he said the same thing I was thinking....it's never too late. I explained to McKenna and Peyton that this is less about them and more about me. I'm making the commitment before God and a roomful of witnesses and saying that Jesus is IT for our family.
I'm inviting all of you, my friends and family that can make it to be there. I want you to hold me accountable to what I'm promising to God and my children....that we will never look back to the ways of the world. We are pressing forward with God as our foundation. I don't think I can give a better gift in my lifetime to my girls.
What is a dedication you ask? A dedication is a ceremony (for lack of a better term) that is done during church in which a child is dedicated to God. The pastor and perhaps even a few Godly men will pray over the child and his or her parents during that time. However, the dedication is less about the children and more about the parent.
To me, a dedication is about the parent taking responsibility in training up their child in Christ's ways. You are saying that you will raise your children in a Christlike home, teaching them about Christ's love, and showing them how to live it out loud. You are saying that you are in it 100% to make sure that your child is raised up with Christ's love pouring over onto them, so that there is never a doubt who made them, who loved them, who gave His life for them, and who will come again for them one day. It's a bold statement to all who witness this. And those people that are there....your friends and your family? They're there to witness this commitment that you're making.
This is something I never did with either of my girls. I grew up in church and so did they, but for whatever reason, I didn't do it. And now, I'm ready to make that statement. So, on November 19th during the 6pm service at Cheyenne Hills Church, I'm going to have my 13 year old and 7 year old daughters dedicated. It's unusual to see older children up there, but when I talked to Pastor Galen about it, he said the same thing I was thinking....it's never too late. I explained to McKenna and Peyton that this is less about them and more about me. I'm making the commitment before God and a roomful of witnesses and saying that Jesus is IT for our family.
I'm inviting all of you, my friends and family that can make it to be there. I want you to hold me accountable to what I'm promising to God and my children....that we will never look back to the ways of the world. We are pressing forward with God as our foundation. I don't think I can give a better gift in my lifetime to my girls.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Living that Courageous life....
I've been stirred up quite a bit in the last week. I went to see the movie Courageous last Saturday with my children and it hit me pretty hard. After some prayer and a few conversations I had this week, I went to see the movie again today.
For those who don't know about the movie, it's a Christian-based movie about men stepping up as spiritual leaders in their homes, about standing in the gap and not just being a presence, but truly being there for their families and raising them up in a Godly home.
Because of my actions, both of my girls are the casualties of divorce. Their fathers have moved away and, although they are a presence in their daughters' lives, my girls are left without that spiritual leader in their home in the form of a father. And this breaks my heart.
I've purposed in my heart for the last 2 1/2 years that when God sees fit to provide me with a loving man to call husband, that that man would be a Godly man. A man who will lead my girls in their Christian walk. He will engage with my children, talking with them, nurturing them, loving them as if they were his own. They will feel him as friend, mentor, and ultimately father whether he's at home, at work, or miles away. That man will be a provider and role model, a man who models his walk in his actions with church, Bible reading, and prayer. He will put me first, take care of my physical and emotional needs, and love me as Christ loved the church....the ultimate kind of love. My children will see his dedication to me and them and we will model love and respect to him. People around us will see it as well because we will live it out loud.
This is not an easy task as the process (in my case) starts before the marriage. In traditional homes, you have the luxury of beginning this as you begin to build your family. In single-parent homes, it starts long before, giving the children the comfort in knowing that you are the man that can eventually fill that role. The father role can't be filled immediately, but they should be able to see and feel that mentoring, friendship, love, and dedication. It shouldn't be based on "what mom tells them." You have to take the time to cultivate that relationshipwith them. It builds confidence and trust.
Here is my challenge to you:
Men who are willing to stand up and take on that role---don't give up and don't get sidetracked. Your family or future family NEED to see you live it....with pride and integrity. Don't give up because it's hard. Don't let distractions get in the way of showing it, living it. Your children, future children, and/or future step-children need to know that you are not one to do it only when it's easy or convenient. That you will do it ALWAYS.
Single moms---Do not settle for less than when God mandates this for your family. That role is meant to be filled by a Godly, committed man. If that man now can't stand up to the challenge, pray that God gives you clarity in what you should do. Commit to praying about it and commit to honor what God tells you to do, no matter what that may be. God may be working in his life to mold him to be that person. God may also be using that circumstance to mold you and to teach you to stand up for this kind of commitment.
Parents---If you are already there....LIVE IT. Put God as the center of your marriage and family and resolve to never stand down from God's requirements, no matter what challenges may come your way.
This challenge is not for the faint of heart....it's meant for the courageous.
For those who don't know about the movie, it's a Christian-based movie about men stepping up as spiritual leaders in their homes, about standing in the gap and not just being a presence, but truly being there for their families and raising them up in a Godly home.
Because of my actions, both of my girls are the casualties of divorce. Their fathers have moved away and, although they are a presence in their daughters' lives, my girls are left without that spiritual leader in their home in the form of a father. And this breaks my heart.
I've purposed in my heart for the last 2 1/2 years that when God sees fit to provide me with a loving man to call husband, that that man would be a Godly man. A man who will lead my girls in their Christian walk. He will engage with my children, talking with them, nurturing them, loving them as if they were his own. They will feel him as friend, mentor, and ultimately father whether he's at home, at work, or miles away. That man will be a provider and role model, a man who models his walk in his actions with church, Bible reading, and prayer. He will put me first, take care of my physical and emotional needs, and love me as Christ loved the church....the ultimate kind of love. My children will see his dedication to me and them and we will model love and respect to him. People around us will see it as well because we will live it out loud.
This is not an easy task as the process (in my case) starts before the marriage. In traditional homes, you have the luxury of beginning this as you begin to build your family. In single-parent homes, it starts long before, giving the children the comfort in knowing that you are the man that can eventually fill that role. The father role can't be filled immediately, but they should be able to see and feel that mentoring, friendship, love, and dedication. It shouldn't be based on "what mom tells them." You have to take the time to cultivate that relationshipwith them. It builds confidence and trust.
Here is my challenge to you:
Men who are willing to stand up and take on that role---don't give up and don't get sidetracked. Your family or future family NEED to see you live it....with pride and integrity. Don't give up because it's hard. Don't let distractions get in the way of showing it, living it. Your children, future children, and/or future step-children need to know that you are not one to do it only when it's easy or convenient. That you will do it ALWAYS.
Single moms---Do not settle for less than when God mandates this for your family. That role is meant to be filled by a Godly, committed man. If that man now can't stand up to the challenge, pray that God gives you clarity in what you should do. Commit to praying about it and commit to honor what God tells you to do, no matter what that may be. God may be working in his life to mold him to be that person. God may also be using that circumstance to mold you and to teach you to stand up for this kind of commitment.
Parents---If you are already there....LIVE IT. Put God as the center of your marriage and family and resolve to never stand down from God's requirements, no matter what challenges may come your way.
This challenge is not for the faint of heart....it's meant for the courageous.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Things I Learned This Weekend.....
1. No matter how you divide up a road trip, a 16-hour drive is still a 16-hour drive.
2. Your sweet little baby girl will always know how to break up the silence with a loud fart...at the most awkward time.
3. It will take a MINIMUM of 12 pictures to get that ONE good shot you always wanted. Only to find out someone was blinking in the back.
4. Your children will amaze you when the lessons you taught them about being polite and respectful actually work and they are awesome the whole weekend.
5. You don't really need a TV, laptop, or any other electronic device to have a good time.
6. You don't even need electricity to have a good time........electricity's for wimps.
7. When you're riding in a boat and your boyfriend is on the jet ski, always go to the opposite side of where he's driving past. He will inevitably think it's funny to drive past at break-neck speed just to splash you with 50 degree lake water.
8. When you get more than one person together, plans will go out the window. Or be changed 15 times. Plan on not making plans.
9. Better yet, plans are probably for wimps, too. Plan for anything.
10. You don't have to be blood to be family. Whether you're "adopted" in, married in, "girlfriended" in, or have just always been in, you're still loved. Love them back. It's the best feeling.
2. Your sweet little baby girl will always know how to break up the silence with a loud fart...at the most awkward time.
3. It will take a MINIMUM of 12 pictures to get that ONE good shot you always wanted. Only to find out someone was blinking in the back.
4. Your children will amaze you when the lessons you taught them about being polite and respectful actually work and they are awesome the whole weekend.
5. You don't really need a TV, laptop, or any other electronic device to have a good time.
6. You don't even need electricity to have a good time........electricity's for wimps.
7. When you're riding in a boat and your boyfriend is on the jet ski, always go to the opposite side of where he's driving past. He will inevitably think it's funny to drive past at break-neck speed just to splash you with 50 degree lake water.
8. When you get more than one person together, plans will go out the window. Or be changed 15 times. Plan on not making plans.
9. Better yet, plans are probably for wimps, too. Plan for anything.
10. You don't have to be blood to be family. Whether you're "adopted" in, married in, "girlfriended" in, or have just always been in, you're still loved. Love them back. It's the best feeling.
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| My family-Wisconsin 2011 |
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Growing up!
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| 5th grade |
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| 3 years old |
Where has the time gone? I miss these days. These pictures are about 4 years old and so much has changed with them. Boys are cute now and she wants to wear makeup. She doesn't want to be read to.......she wants to read to me. They're asking for sleepovers and trips to the skating rink. I miss those days when they completely relied on me. It's not that way anymore. They're growing up so fast and there's no stopping it.
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| Taken yesterday (8th grade and 2nd grade this year!) |
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Laying It Out
This last month or so has been a tough one for me. I lost my job at the end of June and wasn't really sure what direction to go in. I knew that I needed to trust God to provide and I felt an incredible peace about what was happening. I was not scared of it. I knew God had the plans for me, I just didn't know what the plan was.......and I still don't. I do know that He's been watching over me, even when I haven't been the most faithful to Him. And when I finally got raw with God last night, He opened my eyes to a lot of things.
HE. IS. IT. I've been saying I trust Him 100% these last 6 weeks, but I've still been harboring my "what-ifs" and "just in cases." I hadn't been taking EVERYTHING to God and asking what I should do or look for guidance from Him. I'd been sugar-coating it. (Like He didn't know the whole story anyway?!)
I had been looking to move to Chicago this summer after I lost my job, but it never was able to come together. I was terribly disappointed. But last night, in my devotion, He showed me what I was doing wrong. He showed me in Colossians about what it means to be complete in HIM, not in someone else or something else.
Colossians 2:10--and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority;
After I'd laid it all out to Him, today He showed up in a huge way. My previous job was appealing my unemployment and I had a hearing scheduled for tomorrow. I was confident I was right, but you know how satan loves to toy with your emotions; he was filling my thoughts with anxiety, with doubt, with thoughts of worry about how I was going to take care of my girls until I found a job. But last night, I laid it out to God and asked Him to take it, that I wanted to trust Him in it......
This morning, I received a call from the Workforce Services office. The company withdrew the appeal. No more worries. You see, God WANTS to show up for you. He WANTS to take care of you. He WANTS to love you. But "self" tends to get in the way. And when you get "self" out of the way?? Things happen. He can finally do His work.
I can't imagine not putting my faith in Him. I'm not perfect. There are times (like these last 6 weeks) where I've not trusted Him completely. Where I thought I was, but if I was really being honest, I was holding back. And when I see myself doing that, I confess it, I lay it all out to Him again, and I know He'll extend His unending grace and welcome me back.
Psalm 84:11--For the LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.
HE. IS. IT. I've been saying I trust Him 100% these last 6 weeks, but I've still been harboring my "what-ifs" and "just in cases." I hadn't been taking EVERYTHING to God and asking what I should do or look for guidance from Him. I'd been sugar-coating it. (Like He didn't know the whole story anyway?!)
I had been looking to move to Chicago this summer after I lost my job, but it never was able to come together. I was terribly disappointed. But last night, in my devotion, He showed me what I was doing wrong. He showed me in Colossians about what it means to be complete in HIM, not in someone else or something else.
Colossians 2:10--and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority;
After I'd laid it all out to Him, today He showed up in a huge way. My previous job was appealing my unemployment and I had a hearing scheduled for tomorrow. I was confident I was right, but you know how satan loves to toy with your emotions; he was filling my thoughts with anxiety, with doubt, with thoughts of worry about how I was going to take care of my girls until I found a job. But last night, I laid it out to God and asked Him to take it, that I wanted to trust Him in it......
This morning, I received a call from the Workforce Services office. The company withdrew the appeal. No more worries. You see, God WANTS to show up for you. He WANTS to take care of you. He WANTS to love you. But "self" tends to get in the way. And when you get "self" out of the way?? Things happen. He can finally do His work.
I can't imagine not putting my faith in Him. I'm not perfect. There are times (like these last 6 weeks) where I've not trusted Him completely. Where I thought I was, but if I was really being honest, I was holding back. And when I see myself doing that, I confess it, I lay it all out to Him again, and I know He'll extend His unending grace and welcome me back.
Psalm 84:11--For the LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Flying
For those of you who keep up with me, you know I'm afraid to fly. Like palms (and feet) sweat, I wanna cry at take off and spend the entire flight worrying how in the world they get that giant tube of steel to stay up in the sky!
Well, I flew yesterday! And I didn't die. I didn't cry. I didn't panic. Ok, so my palms were a little moist (that's for you, M), but I did ok.
Now I need to know people, what kinds of things are there to do in Chicago? Give me ideas!
Well, I flew yesterday! And I didn't die. I didn't cry. I didn't panic. Ok, so my palms were a little moist (that's for you, M), but I did ok.
Now I need to know people, what kinds of things are there to do in Chicago? Give me ideas!
Monday, June 27, 2011
What Happened to Kids? And For That Matter, Respect???
Ever notice when you look around how much older kids seems to have gotten?
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Kids talk back (on a side note, when I spoke back to my parents, my backside hurt for hours). They want to stay out late and have no curfew. They don't think there should be consequences for breaking the rules. They want to have mixed slumber parties.......and they want to make sure their boyfriend/girlfriend is invited. (yes moms and dads, boys AND girls at the same sleepover). Daughters don't understand why a boy can't go into her room when they come to the house to visit.....what do you mean they can't close the door and have some privacy?! And sons don't get why they have to actually meet the parents when they finally ARE allowed to date.
They want to try smoking because it looks cool (which it doesn't) and drink because everyone's doing it. Another news flash parents........I may get into a lot of trouble for this, but letting them drink at home under your "supervision" is saying to them it's ok to drink underage. Your teaching them that as long as your mommy or daddy say it's ok, laws don't need to be followed. You're not really teaching them anything about respecting authority or rules. And just because you let them drink at home so they "don't go out and run the roads drunk" doesn't mean they're only go to stay at home and drink. I'm sure of this. And to be honest, you deserve the ticket you'll get when the cops find out you're doing it.
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I. Am. Scared. For my daughter....and for me. McKenna will be 13 in just 3 months and she is already slammed with messages of how to be older, prettier, thinner, sexier, cooler, the list goes on. How about we teach our children how to be children? How about the lessons of real friendship and proper respect? Why do kids have to "grow up"when they're still just kids?
Anyone?
Twelve-year olds are the new 16. Girls are wearing shorts and skirts "mini" enough for me to see their butt cheeks and cleavage seems to be the new hot thing to show. We want fake nails, tans, waxes, dyed hair, pierced eyebrows, noses, lips, etc. Girls are wearing makeup at 9 and 10 years old. And think that push-up bras and a piece of dental floss called a thong are ok to wear......at that age!
Boys are not taught how to properly wear a pair of pants and that a belt is not designed to keep your knickers cinched at your thighs. I do not care about your cool Superman boxers. Boys have no idea how to respect a lady. (A man told me recently that chivalry is on it's death bed........REVIVE IT ALREADY! Why does it have to be something that everyone does before it comes back? It's not hard to open a car door, to help a lady put her coat on, to bring flowers to your date/girlfriend/wife, to compliment a woman on how pretty her hair looks, I could go on, but I digress.)
Kids talk back (on a side note, when I spoke back to my parents, my backside hurt for hours). They want to stay out late and have no curfew. They don't think there should be consequences for breaking the rules. They want to have mixed slumber parties.......and they want to make sure their boyfriend/girlfriend is invited. (yes moms and dads, boys AND girls at the same sleepover). Daughters don't understand why a boy can't go into her room when they come to the house to visit.....what do you mean they can't close the door and have some privacy?! And sons don't get why they have to actually meet the parents when they finally ARE allowed to date.
They want to try smoking because it looks cool (which it doesn't) and drink because everyone's doing it. Another news flash parents........I may get into a lot of trouble for this, but letting them drink at home under your "supervision" is saying to them it's ok to drink underage. Your teaching them that as long as your mommy or daddy say it's ok, laws don't need to be followed. You're not really teaching them anything about respecting authority or rules. And just because you let them drink at home so they "don't go out and run the roads drunk" doesn't mean they're only go to stay at home and drink. I'm sure of this. And to be honest, you deserve the ticket you'll get when the cops find out you're doing it.
I. Am. Scared. For my daughter....and for me. McKenna will be 13 in just 3 months and she is already slammed with messages of how to be older, prettier, thinner, sexier, cooler, the list goes on. How about we teach our children how to be children? How about the lessons of real friendship and proper respect? Why do kids have to "grow up"when they're still just kids?
Anyone?
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Figuring Out the Plan
Good vs. Best....I've written about it before because we studied about this in my Bible study this past year. And it really seems to be weighing on my heart right now. It has for the last week or so. I struggle with whether I'm reading into what God is giving me and forcing the situation to be a "good" situation, instead of waiting on the Lord to fufill what He wants and making it the "best" situation. I don't want to SETTLE for what's ok. I want to have the BEST of what God's providing for me. And if that means I have to have a little patience, or endure a little heartache, or a plan that I didn't envision, then I want to be willing to endure it so that I can have the full blessing and not just part of it.
I think many times, Christians settle because they think what's in front of them is God's will, but what God is really doing is saying, "Slow down. Trust Me to get you to the end. Don't be quick to read into what's before you. I'm using this to grow you, to mold you." And too often, we jump to the most drastic decisions, the instant gratification choice, because we miss that vital part.
Isaiah 55:8 says "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," declares the Lord.
I need to really live that verse...understanding that my plans for what I want in my future may not be what He wants for me or may not be the plans He has for me right NOW. I have to learn to really get raw with God about what I want and what I need in my life and listen with a willing and open heart to where He's directing me. I want the best, not just the good.
How about you? Anyone else struggle with deciphering God's awesome plan for you??
I think many times, Christians settle because they think what's in front of them is God's will, but what God is really doing is saying, "Slow down. Trust Me to get you to the end. Don't be quick to read into what's before you. I'm using this to grow you, to mold you." And too often, we jump to the most drastic decisions, the instant gratification choice, because we miss that vital part.
Isaiah 55:8 says "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," declares the Lord.
I need to really live that verse...understanding that my plans for what I want in my future may not be what He wants for me or may not be the plans He has for me right NOW. I have to learn to really get raw with God about what I want and what I need in my life and listen with a willing and open heart to where He's directing me. I want the best, not just the good.
How about you? Anyone else struggle with deciphering God's awesome plan for you??
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Road Trip!
Only one more day until vacation and I can't wait! Neither can the girls. We're going to drive across the country (which I love to do) and spend the week in South Carolina with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
How about you guys? Any lovers of road trips out there?
How about you guys? Any lovers of road trips out there?
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Don't interrupt....RUDE!
I love her....McKenna is her father and I wrapped up into one fantastic package of a little bit of the best of both of us and a giant helping of originality!
This weekend, she treated us to a fabulous rendition of a MAD TV skit, she had seen ONCE and managed to get it verbatim when she was relaying it to us. She is hilarious doing it! She had everyone in the room laughing. I didn't get her on tape doing it but here is the TV skit that she was copying. It's definitely worth the watch and then just imagine McKenna doing it. I'm giggling right now!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZkdcYlOn5M
Now....wasn't that worth it?!
This weekend, she treated us to a fabulous rendition of a MAD TV skit, she had seen ONCE and managed to get it verbatim when she was relaying it to us. She is hilarious doing it! She had everyone in the room laughing. I didn't get her on tape doing it but here is the TV skit that she was copying. It's definitely worth the watch and then just imagine McKenna doing it. I'm giggling right now!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZkdcYlOn5M
Now....wasn't that worth it?!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Love, Honor, and Cherish....
As I dive into my relationship with Jeremy, I find myself even more aware of what I'm looking for in a future partner and what a solid Christian marriage should look like. A friend of mine gave me the name of this book to read....Lies at the Alter by Dr. Robin L. Smith. This is not a Christian based book, but it has a list of 275 questions you should ask and be asked of anyone that you feel you could have a future with to help you really get to the "meat" of who the other person is and whether or not there are some red flags that you should potentially pursue.
I haven't gotten to the questions yet, but in one of the first couple of chapters, something she said captivated me. "Do you know the definition of love, honor, and cherish?" She asks the people she's counseling to give meaning to each of those words. So I stopped and thought about it for a bit.
Take a minute and think about it for yourself...define those 3 words to yourself. Love. Honor. Cherish. I don't think there's any wrong answer, but it's definitely worth digging into yourself and thinking about.
Here are the definitions I came up with.
Love- To have complete and total devotion to him (my husband), no matter what the circumstances. To trust him to be the head and spiritual leader in our home.
Honor- To put him first and respect him in all areas, even if I don't always agree. (Notice I don't say I'll be a doormat or that he'll always get his way, but that I will respect his thoughts, ideas, actions, etc.)
Cherish- To hold him closer to me than any other human. To revere him as husband, lover, leader, and best friend.
So, friends, what are your definitions?
I haven't gotten to the questions yet, but in one of the first couple of chapters, something she said captivated me. "Do you know the definition of love, honor, and cherish?" She asks the people she's counseling to give meaning to each of those words. So I stopped and thought about it for a bit.
Take a minute and think about it for yourself...define those 3 words to yourself. Love. Honor. Cherish. I don't think there's any wrong answer, but it's definitely worth digging into yourself and thinking about.
Here are the definitions I came up with.
Love- To have complete and total devotion to him (my husband), no matter what the circumstances. To trust him to be the head and spiritual leader in our home.
Honor- To put him first and respect him in all areas, even if I don't always agree. (Notice I don't say I'll be a doormat or that he'll always get his way, but that I will respect his thoughts, ideas, actions, etc.)
Cherish- To hold him closer to me than any other human. To revere him as husband, lover, leader, and best friend.
So, friends, what are your definitions?
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Why Do We Need to be Salt?
I'm going to be doing something this summer I've never done before. Something that I'm nervous about, but something that I know God is directing me to do...I'm going to lead a Bible study. I'm going to take the Colossians Bible study that Laura wrote for SOWN and myself and 3 other women are going to dive in and do this 8-week study on a book that I hadn't really paid much attention to.
I decided to start this venture yesterday by preparing and so I picked up my Bible and proceeded to read the book of Colossians. What a spectacular book in the Bible! It's packed with so much wisdom and it took me a while to get through that little book because I kept looking up references and researching things and looking at verses in different translations! The reason I'm writing this is because, already, God has my heart directed towards a particular passage in Colossians; Colossians 4:5-6.
"5 Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsider, making the most of the opportunity. 6 Let your speech always be seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person." (NASB)
POWERFUL! The reason it struck me is because this isn't the first time that salt has been used as a reference. Look at Matthew 5:13.
"You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for any thing, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men." (NASB)
As a Christian, I know the concept of being the "salt of the earth." But do I really understand and do I really LIVE it? Salt is a preservative. It was and is used to preserve meat. It also flavors. My job as "salt" is several fold. I should first be binding myself as a preservative in this lost and dying world. My job is take my love and example of Jesus and envelop people to help sustain them through good and bad times. I'm also supposed to "flavor" society; I can live Jesus out loud, His love shining through me. I can paint His brilliance on every canvas I come across. I can make people hungry for His Word and His peace.
I think, though, that I can also apply this more intimately in the lives of my children. My job is to help them grow in Christ Jesus. I'm the preservative that helps protects them from becoming rancid. I know that ultimately, the choice to follow is theirs, but I still need to be doing my job as salt to fuel that desire to learn more.
As far as my speech being seasoned with salt....I always need help with that. Especially when it comes to my children. God continues to work in me about that. It wasn't long ago that McKenna shared with me that I was different from before, a change that she liked. She sees the changes that God has brought about and I long for her to see more. It's a constant prayer of mine that what I say to my girls be palatable; easy to hear, easy to understand, easy to see the love.
How about you? How do you see being the "salt of the earth?"
I decided to start this venture yesterday by preparing and so I picked up my Bible and proceeded to read the book of Colossians. What a spectacular book in the Bible! It's packed with so much wisdom and it took me a while to get through that little book because I kept looking up references and researching things and looking at verses in different translations! The reason I'm writing this is because, already, God has my heart directed towards a particular passage in Colossians; Colossians 4:5-6.
"5 Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsider, making the most of the opportunity. 6 Let your speech always be seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person." (NASB)
POWERFUL! The reason it struck me is because this isn't the first time that salt has been used as a reference. Look at Matthew 5:13.
"You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for any thing, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men." (NASB)
As a Christian, I know the concept of being the "salt of the earth." But do I really understand and do I really LIVE it? Salt is a preservative. It was and is used to preserve meat. It also flavors. My job as "salt" is several fold. I should first be binding myself as a preservative in this lost and dying world. My job is take my love and example of Jesus and envelop people to help sustain them through good and bad times. I'm also supposed to "flavor" society; I can live Jesus out loud, His love shining through me. I can paint His brilliance on every canvas I come across. I can make people hungry for His Word and His peace.
I think, though, that I can also apply this more intimately in the lives of my children. My job is to help them grow in Christ Jesus. I'm the preservative that helps protects them from becoming rancid. I know that ultimately, the choice to follow is theirs, but I still need to be doing my job as salt to fuel that desire to learn more.
As far as my speech being seasoned with salt....I always need help with that. Especially when it comes to my children. God continues to work in me about that. It wasn't long ago that McKenna shared with me that I was different from before, a change that she liked. She sees the changes that God has brought about and I long for her to see more. It's a constant prayer of mine that what I say to my girls be palatable; easy to hear, easy to understand, easy to see the love.
How about you? How do you see being the "salt of the earth?"
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Out Of My Comfort Zone
SOWN has been such a blessing to me. For those of you who don't know what SOWN is, it's a women's Bible study group that was founded by Laura Whitmore, my pastor's wife. She felt God leading her to write a Bible study and she's now done 3. SOWN isn't an acronym; it comes from the parable of the sower. SOWN's vision is to have Christ do a supernatural work in our lives by positioning ourselves in the Word. "This work will include seeing the Truths of the Word 'sown' into our lives, where they will become deeply rooted, eventually yielding a harvest that will profoundly affect those around us."
Doesn't that sound powerful? To have the Truth sown into the core of who we are so that everything we do is lived through Christ and the Truth He brought us?!
I wanted to do the Colossians Bible study with SOWN that Laura did in the fall. But everything stopped me....life, excuses. Really it was excuses, so I didn't sign up. The Philippians Bible study rolled around in February and I decided I would start. And then came the excuses....every Sunday for 3 weeks, I found some reason or another to not sign up and get the book. One day, after church on week 4 (the last week to pre-register), it was like God was literally saying to me, "Are you stupid? Are you not paying attention to what I'm telling you?" So, I walked out to the lobby and joined the class.
AND GOD DELIVERED.
I have grown through this study. I have learned things that I thought I already had a pretty good grasp of, only to be shown that I still had a lot of growing to do! I have never been more "in it" for God.
This last day of homework, Week 10-Day 5, had me doing so much reflection on where God has me, and I wanted to share with all of you.
"Today, I am wondering if you have found yourself smack dab in the middle of circumstances that you would have never, in a million years chosen for yourself. Anyone? To be sure, there are times, because of poor choices on our part, we end up in places we never anticipated going. I am talking about something different here. For whatever reason, God has taken you down a path you probably wouldn't have chosen for yourself. Could it be because there is something of eternal significance at stake?"
I grew up in an independent, fundamental Baptist church. It's all I've ever known. If it wasn't "hell, fire, and damnation" preaching, I didn't want it. I loved that my pastor shouted. I loved that he pounded his fist on the pulpit. I loved hearing the amens from the congregation.
And then God moved me. Literally. To another church. I went through my second divorce and I found a class that sounded good, one that I thought would help me work through the pain of a divorce. DivorceCare. It was offered at Cheyenne Hills, a non-denominational church; a good church, but nothing I was interested in. I just wanted the class! So I went through the 13-week course and God made some decisions for me that were so far out of my comfort zone, I was scared....seriously. I was asked to help teach the class and that meant coming to Cheyenne Hills. I wouldn't have chosen this for me. I love to teach and help people, but teaching a class with the stigma that I felt always surrounded me (being divorced twice, with a child from each of my husbands) had me worried. Teaching in a non-denominational church petrified me.
But I did it. I left a church where I had been for 8 years, where my growth had become stagnant, and where my Light had become dim, and He moved me to the most unlikely spot.
And I love it! Because of this move to a new church, God has given me such a heart for those who are hurting from a divorce or separation. He has used both Pastor Galen and Pastor Roger to help shape me as a strong Christian and to draw closer to God. He has used Laura to build my character and strength. He has used Brandi and Chris, my small group leaders at SOWN, to create friendships and lifelong Christian alliances. And I have NEVER looked back. God did it for a reason, and I'll never question how He works.
What about you? Has God sent you down a path where you thought, "WHOA!!! What are You doing?" but just trusted Him to help you see it through?
Doesn't that sound powerful? To have the Truth sown into the core of who we are so that everything we do is lived through Christ and the Truth He brought us?!
I wanted to do the Colossians Bible study with SOWN that Laura did in the fall. But everything stopped me....life, excuses. Really it was excuses, so I didn't sign up. The Philippians Bible study rolled around in February and I decided I would start. And then came the excuses....every Sunday for 3 weeks, I found some reason or another to not sign up and get the book. One day, after church on week 4 (the last week to pre-register), it was like God was literally saying to me, "Are you stupid? Are you not paying attention to what I'm telling you?" So, I walked out to the lobby and joined the class.
AND GOD DELIVERED.
I have grown through this study. I have learned things that I thought I already had a pretty good grasp of, only to be shown that I still had a lot of growing to do! I have never been more "in it" for God.
This last day of homework, Week 10-Day 5, had me doing so much reflection on where God has me, and I wanted to share with all of you.
"Today, I am wondering if you have found yourself smack dab in the middle of circumstances that you would have never, in a million years chosen for yourself. Anyone? To be sure, there are times, because of poor choices on our part, we end up in places we never anticipated going. I am talking about something different here. For whatever reason, God has taken you down a path you probably wouldn't have chosen for yourself. Could it be because there is something of eternal significance at stake?"
I grew up in an independent, fundamental Baptist church. It's all I've ever known. If it wasn't "hell, fire, and damnation" preaching, I didn't want it. I loved that my pastor shouted. I loved that he pounded his fist on the pulpit. I loved hearing the amens from the congregation.
And then God moved me. Literally. To another church. I went through my second divorce and I found a class that sounded good, one that I thought would help me work through the pain of a divorce. DivorceCare. It was offered at Cheyenne Hills, a non-denominational church; a good church, but nothing I was interested in. I just wanted the class! So I went through the 13-week course and God made some decisions for me that were so far out of my comfort zone, I was scared....seriously. I was asked to help teach the class and that meant coming to Cheyenne Hills. I wouldn't have chosen this for me. I love to teach and help people, but teaching a class with the stigma that I felt always surrounded me (being divorced twice, with a child from each of my husbands) had me worried. Teaching in a non-denominational church petrified me.
But I did it. I left a church where I had been for 8 years, where my growth had become stagnant, and where my Light had become dim, and He moved me to the most unlikely spot.
And I love it! Because of this move to a new church, God has given me such a heart for those who are hurting from a divorce or separation. He has used both Pastor Galen and Pastor Roger to help shape me as a strong Christian and to draw closer to God. He has used Laura to build my character and strength. He has used Brandi and Chris, my small group leaders at SOWN, to create friendships and lifelong Christian alliances. And I have NEVER looked back. God did it for a reason, and I'll never question how He works.
What about you? Has God sent you down a path where you thought, "WHOA!!! What are You doing?" but just trusted Him to help you see it through?
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
The Weight of Worry
Worry.
It's been a big word in my life for a long time. I've always been the kind of person that worried about everything...from homework to kids to relationships. And yesterday, God decided to deal with it.
This last week in my Bible study homework, there was a lot of talk about worrying and trusting God. Laura always speaks at the beginning of SOWN for about 1/2 hour and gives a lesson on the previous week's homework, and boy, if I didn't think God was working on me through the homework, He definitely showed up in the lesson when Laura was speaking. These are some of the verses she gave:
Proverbs 12:25 -Anxiety in a man's heart weights it down, But a good word makes it glad.
Philippians 4:6 -Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God.
Worrying can be such a huge stumbling block. It takes my focus off God and what He can and DOES provide for me and puts it on myself and what I can do. And really, what can I do about it? Nothing. Worry costs me so much. It robs me from enjoying the present. The "what-if" scenarios that play in my head are torturous. And Laura said something last night that hit me like a brick...."Even if the worst of the worst what-ifs plays out, God is still God, He's still here and He's not leaving."
I've struggled with this as I've begun a new relationship with Jeremy. I worry if I'm doing the right thing. I worry if I'm being overbearing or not attentive enough. I worry how my children are being affected. I worry about being hurt again. But the fact is, God is in the middle of it and He knows what I need. He has chosen to bless me with a Christian man who's kind and considerate, a man who prays about his decisions before he makes them. Someone who cares about the fragileness of my daughters and taking the time to get to know them without pushing them. A person who sees the little things I try to do to show him I care, and acknowledges it...he lets me know it doesn't go unnoticed.
I'm constantly taking this relationship to God. I thank Him for what I went through in the past to get me where I am in my relationship today, but when I'm still worrying about it, I'm not letting God have total control. I'm praying for things in this relationship that to some, might seem trivial and not worth praying about, but if God says to take everything to Him in prayer and supplication (petitioning to God), doesn't it stand to reason that everything can be affected by prayer?! Even my trivial things.
After last night, I am confident that I'm heading in the right direction with my petitions to God regarding Jeremy and where God has me going in this venture. I'm confident that God will lead me if I let Him. And I know that I have to stop worrying about it. I don't want to be robbed of my present. I want to enjoy it. I want to live it. I want to feel it and I want to feel God's presence in the middle of it! I want to live life through Christ without the weight of worry.
What worry is weighing you down?
It's been a big word in my life for a long time. I've always been the kind of person that worried about everything...from homework to kids to relationships. And yesterday, God decided to deal with it.
This last week in my Bible study homework, there was a lot of talk about worrying and trusting God. Laura always speaks at the beginning of SOWN for about 1/2 hour and gives a lesson on the previous week's homework, and boy, if I didn't think God was working on me through the homework, He definitely showed up in the lesson when Laura was speaking. These are some of the verses she gave:
Proverbs 12:25 -Anxiety in a man's heart weights it down, But a good word makes it glad.
Philippians 4:6 -Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God.
Worrying can be such a huge stumbling block. It takes my focus off God and what He can and DOES provide for me and puts it on myself and what I can do. And really, what can I do about it? Nothing. Worry costs me so much. It robs me from enjoying the present. The "what-if" scenarios that play in my head are torturous. And Laura said something last night that hit me like a brick...."Even if the worst of the worst what-ifs plays out, God is still God, He's still here and He's not leaving."
I've struggled with this as I've begun a new relationship with Jeremy. I worry if I'm doing the right thing. I worry if I'm being overbearing or not attentive enough. I worry how my children are being affected. I worry about being hurt again. But the fact is, God is in the middle of it and He knows what I need. He has chosen to bless me with a Christian man who's kind and considerate, a man who prays about his decisions before he makes them. Someone who cares about the fragileness of my daughters and taking the time to get to know them without pushing them. A person who sees the little things I try to do to show him I care, and acknowledges it...he lets me know it doesn't go unnoticed.
I'm constantly taking this relationship to God. I thank Him for what I went through in the past to get me where I am in my relationship today, but when I'm still worrying about it, I'm not letting God have total control. I'm praying for things in this relationship that to some, might seem trivial and not worth praying about, but if God says to take everything to Him in prayer and supplication (petitioning to God), doesn't it stand to reason that everything can be affected by prayer?! Even my trivial things.
After last night, I am confident that I'm heading in the right direction with my petitions to God regarding Jeremy and where God has me going in this venture. I'm confident that God will lead me if I let Him. And I know that I have to stop worrying about it. I don't want to be robbed of my present. I want to enjoy it. I want to live it. I want to feel it and I want to feel God's presence in the middle of it! I want to live life through Christ without the weight of worry.
What worry is weighing you down?
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Fruity Trees
God never fails to amaze me. My children and I have been so blessed these last 2 weeks. God is preparing our hearts for something great...I just know it. I can feel it!
This last Sunday, we were sitting in church and Pastor Galen brought up the tree that Jesus cursed because it bore no fruit. He talked about living the fruit of the Spririt and how we should be producing fruit for the Kingdom of God.
Now, for those of you who have read some of my previous entries, you should be aware that Peyton is on fire for God. She loves to talk about Him, serve Him, and just LIVE for Him. So it will come as no shock when I write what she said. "Mommy, am I a plain tree or a fruity tree?" You can't help but smile when your 6 year old asks that, and it gave me great joy to tell her that I believe she's a fruity tree. I explained what it means to "produce fruit" for Jesus.
Fast forward to last night. Jeremy, Peyton, and I were sitting talking about what she said about being fruity and how she said she was going to talk to her friend about Jesus and she tells Jeremy, "Mom's giving her Christian to me. She teaches me, so that I know." What a blessing to hear! I now had to explain to her about what a "testimony" is and how we live for Jesus in everything we do, to which she replies, "I can say it how I want, Mom, and I say your teaching me your Christian." Whatever you say, Peyton!
This last Sunday, we were sitting in church and Pastor Galen brought up the tree that Jesus cursed because it bore no fruit. He talked about living the fruit of the Spririt and how we should be producing fruit for the Kingdom of God.
Now, for those of you who have read some of my previous entries, you should be aware that Peyton is on fire for God. She loves to talk about Him, serve Him, and just LIVE for Him. So it will come as no shock when I write what she said. "Mommy, am I a plain tree or a fruity tree?" You can't help but smile when your 6 year old asks that, and it gave me great joy to tell her that I believe she's a fruity tree. I explained what it means to "produce fruit" for Jesus.
Fast forward to last night. Jeremy, Peyton, and I were sitting talking about what she said about being fruity and how she said she was going to talk to her friend about Jesus and she tells Jeremy, "Mom's giving her Christian to me. She teaches me, so that I know." What a blessing to hear! I now had to explain to her about what a "testimony" is and how we live for Jesus in everything we do, to which she replies, "I can say it how I want, Mom, and I say your teaching me your Christian." Whatever you say, Peyton!
And really, no matter how she says it, it makes me happy! For so long, I wasn't a great Christian example for my children. Now it's what I strive for everyday; to show them how to serve Christ. I'm so thankful she sees it and wants to live it! McKenna even says she sees such a difference in our family life, how we interact, how we live for Jesus. That's all I can hope for....2 wonderful daughters that gave their lives to Christ, (one at the age of 5 and one at the age of 6) and who see it in our home and live it out loud!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Moving On!
I love how God works. I love how He can restore a person to wholeness again when they feel broken and hurt. I love how you can be away from God, be disconnected, not be in church, or not be surrounded by a body of believers for a time and when you finally fall to your knees and ask God to bring you back to Him, He always does.
I've had such a rough go of things since December. I never walked away from Him and never questioned why I was going through things. I just trusted that there was a purpose, a growing period, for me to be in the situation. And He has never failed me. He has healed those hurts and that brokenness that I felt. He knit the pieces of my heart back together at just the perfect time when I thought they could never be put back together. He brought my joy back...which I missed! There's nothing like being so filled with happiness that you just can't help but smile at anything, everything, because nothing can take away that feeling of being just plain satisfied with life!
I love that He let me go through the trials in my previous relationship to bring me back to Him, that He found me the right church to feed me spiritually, and the right people to mentor me and guide me!
I'm so ready for this new journey of my life! My eyes are opened, I'm searching through Him instead of through myself. I'm so excited about the people that God has put in my path. It's time for great things!
I've had such a rough go of things since December. I never walked away from Him and never questioned why I was going through things. I just trusted that there was a purpose, a growing period, for me to be in the situation. And He has never failed me. He has healed those hurts and that brokenness that I felt. He knit the pieces of my heart back together at just the perfect time when I thought they could never be put back together. He brought my joy back...which I missed! There's nothing like being so filled with happiness that you just can't help but smile at anything, everything, because nothing can take away that feeling of being just plain satisfied with life!
I love that He let me go through the trials in my previous relationship to bring me back to Him, that He found me the right church to feed me spiritually, and the right people to mentor me and guide me!
I'm so ready for this new journey of my life! My eyes are opened, I'm searching through Him instead of through myself. I'm so excited about the people that God has put in my path. It's time for great things!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Mustard seed faith
"And He said to her, 'Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.'"-Luke 8:48
This verse and the story that goes with it, really has me thinking today. For those who don't know the story, Jesus was walking to a man's house who had a sick daughter and there was a large crowd gathered around Him as He walked. In the middle of all of these people, was a woman who had a blood disorder going on 12 years. As He was walking, she reached out and touched the hem or fringe of his coat and she was immediately healed. Jesus stopped and asked who touched Him because he "was aware that power had gone out of Me." The woman stepped forward, afraid, and fell at His feet and confessed that it had been her and why she had done it. And he told her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace."
How amazing could our lives be, how much joy could we have if we just trusted and had that kind of faith! The kind of faith where we KNOW that all we need to do is just reach out a little, just a little, and we'll be healed?
Maybe you're too afraid to ask Him, maybe you're afraid you're not worthy enough. I think so many times we think we're insignificant to Him. Why would He listen to us? There are so many more pressing issues we think when, in reality, we ARE his most pressing need. Each and every one of us. He says "Come to Me. Ask. Let Me help you. Let Me heal you." And all it takes is that little bit of faith; just reaching out and trusting that even if it's His coat or His shoe or even God Himself that we touch, His power will go out and restore us.
That's the kind of faith I want to have....mustard seed faith; a faith so small but that can reward so greatly.
This verse and the story that goes with it, really has me thinking today. For those who don't know the story, Jesus was walking to a man's house who had a sick daughter and there was a large crowd gathered around Him as He walked. In the middle of all of these people, was a woman who had a blood disorder going on 12 years. As He was walking, she reached out and touched the hem or fringe of his coat and she was immediately healed. Jesus stopped and asked who touched Him because he "was aware that power had gone out of Me." The woman stepped forward, afraid, and fell at His feet and confessed that it had been her and why she had done it. And he told her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace."
How amazing could our lives be, how much joy could we have if we just trusted and had that kind of faith! The kind of faith where we KNOW that all we need to do is just reach out a little, just a little, and we'll be healed?
Maybe you're too afraid to ask Him, maybe you're afraid you're not worthy enough. I think so many times we think we're insignificant to Him. Why would He listen to us? There are so many more pressing issues we think when, in reality, we ARE his most pressing need. Each and every one of us. He says "Come to Me. Ask. Let Me help you. Let Me heal you." And all it takes is that little bit of faith; just reaching out and trusting that even if it's His coat or His shoe or even God Himself that we touch, His power will go out and restore us.
That's the kind of faith I want to have....mustard seed faith; a faith so small but that can reward so greatly.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Butt Glue....Oh and Boobs.
No....you read it right. Butt glue! This was a whole new experience for me! This last weekend, I volunteered at a Galaxy Beauty Pageant and had a blast doing it. Until I realized one of the tasks I would have would be the butt glue guru!
For those who don't know what butt glue is, it's a tacky substance that's in a roll-on "deodarant" type stick. You (as you might have guessed) roll it on your tush where the edge of your bathing suit goes and it adheres to the material so your bathing suit doesn't crawl up while you're walking around in your heels on stage! Enter Erin....."Next." Each girl hands me her own stick of butt glue and I get to (yay!) pull their bathing suit bottoms up and (YES!) roll it on. Then a little pat, pat, pat to keep it in place. "Good luck, honey," and they're off! They thought it was pretty funny when I looked at one of them and said, "You know, if I had a boyfriend, he'd be jealous right now!"
By the way, butt glue also works on keeping your boobs in place in a dress, too! (Bet you didn't know that.) I haven't manhandled that many pairs of boobs or butts since....well I've NEVER manhandled that many boobs or butts!
So, there you go. Butt glue.
For those who don't know what butt glue is, it's a tacky substance that's in a roll-on "deodarant" type stick. You (as you might have guessed) roll it on your tush where the edge of your bathing suit goes and it adheres to the material so your bathing suit doesn't crawl up while you're walking around in your heels on stage! Enter Erin....."Next." Each girl hands me her own stick of butt glue and I get to (yay!) pull their bathing suit bottoms up and (YES!) roll it on. Then a little pat, pat, pat to keep it in place. "Good luck, honey," and they're off! They thought it was pretty funny when I looked at one of them and said, "You know, if I had a boyfriend, he'd be jealous right now!"
By the way, butt glue also works on keeping your boobs in place in a dress, too! (Bet you didn't know that.) I haven't manhandled that many pairs of boobs or butts since....well I've NEVER manhandled that many boobs or butts!
So, there you go. Butt glue.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Draw near to God
James 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
This verse lays on my heart...more so lately. I seek to draw near to Him on a daily basis. I know when I'm close to Him, because I feel it. No matter what chaos is in my life, no matter how much I'm hurting, no matter what's on the agenda for the day, I can sense His presence. I have a peace that surpasses all the "yuck" that I may be feeling and I know that He is with me.
When I'm not letting Him have control, I feel separated. I feel lonely. I feel apart from Him. It's not a great feeling. There have been seasons in my life where I've said, "Look, God, I'll do this on my own. I want to seek You, but I'm busy, so I'll work things out with You when I have time." Ya....not worked so well for me. Days of trying to do it in my own time turned into weeks, turned into months. Before I realized, I was so far in my own business and so much in the world, that I was the farthest I'd ever been from God.
Which leads me to the second half of the verse..."Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded." Someone once asked me what double-minded meant. It means divided allegiance. When you live in the world and try to BE in the world, too, while still having a fruitful relationship with Christ, you divide your time...and it's never an even divide. Christ tells us to be in the world, but not OF the world. When we divide our allegiance between God and the world, we're not giving it all to Christ.
I don't want divided allegiance. I want to live for Him and let Him direct my path. I don't want to be of the world. I want to be separate from it. I want people to see His love shining through me.
I don't want to just seek Him when I have a spare minute, and I don't want to wait until the last minute to do it either, because I could end up missing out on the greatest blessings He's trying to give me.
If you draw near to Him, He'll ALWAYS draw near to you......and what a great feeling it is!
This verse lays on my heart...more so lately. I seek to draw near to Him on a daily basis. I know when I'm close to Him, because I feel it. No matter what chaos is in my life, no matter how much I'm hurting, no matter what's on the agenda for the day, I can sense His presence. I have a peace that surpasses all the "yuck" that I may be feeling and I know that He is with me.
When I'm not letting Him have control, I feel separated. I feel lonely. I feel apart from Him. It's not a great feeling. There have been seasons in my life where I've said, "Look, God, I'll do this on my own. I want to seek You, but I'm busy, so I'll work things out with You when I have time." Ya....not worked so well for me. Days of trying to do it in my own time turned into weeks, turned into months. Before I realized, I was so far in my own business and so much in the world, that I was the farthest I'd ever been from God.
Which leads me to the second half of the verse..."Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded." Someone once asked me what double-minded meant. It means divided allegiance. When you live in the world and try to BE in the world, too, while still having a fruitful relationship with Christ, you divide your time...and it's never an even divide. Christ tells us to be in the world, but not OF the world. When we divide our allegiance between God and the world, we're not giving it all to Christ.
I don't want divided allegiance. I want to live for Him and let Him direct my path. I don't want to be of the world. I want to be separate from it. I want people to see His love shining through me.
I don't want to just seek Him when I have a spare minute, and I don't want to wait until the last minute to do it either, because I could end up missing out on the greatest blessings He's trying to give me.
If you draw near to Him, He'll ALWAYS draw near to you......and what a great feeling it is!
Friday, March 11, 2011
The Cool Factor
Have I lost my coolness? I always wanted to be that mom that everyone liked to be around, the house where everyone gathered, the mom that all the kids hang around at the school meeting.
Alas, I guess this is not to be! McKenna had a literacy bingo night last night at her school. We got our food and went to sit down. McKenna took a quick glance towards me....and ushered her friends to another table! WHAT?! You DON'T want to be near me?! But I'm dressed normal. I have sparkly fashionable shoes, I say funny things. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, MCKENNA?! I look at her, shocked, and she mouths the word "no" to me.
So I do what any normal mother would do. I text her and say, "But I'm a cool mom." She laughs, shows her friends (who laugh, too) and they all turn around and acknowledge me. Thank goodness....I'm not completely horrifying to my girl yet!
Alas, I guess this is not to be! McKenna had a literacy bingo night last night at her school. We got our food and went to sit down. McKenna took a quick glance towards me....and ushered her friends to another table! WHAT?! You DON'T want to be near me?! But I'm dressed normal. I have sparkly fashionable shoes, I say funny things. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, MCKENNA?! I look at her, shocked, and she mouths the word "no" to me.
So I do what any normal mother would do. I text her and say, "But I'm a cool mom." She laughs, shows her friends (who laugh, too) and they all turn around and acknowledge me. Thank goodness....I'm not completely horrifying to my girl yet!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Proverbs 31
I'm embarking on a new journey. Well, not really so new for me, but I digress.
I don't know who or what God has in store for me anymore. I used to think I knew God's plan, but pretty much everything I thought, God said, "Surprise! Not really!" So I've just been listening and learning to be patient....NOT one of my strong suits and Mom, I don't need you to agree.
Many of you know I've been really studying this year how to be the best wife I can be. I've been reading books like Before You Plan Your Wedding, Plan Your Marriage and Love and Respect. Well, plans have unfortunately changed, but my feelings haven't. No matter who God has for me, I still want to be the best. So I've decided to study and memorize Proverbs 31:10-31! It's a passage in the Bible about being a Godly wife.
I know there are people out there who think that this goal is stupid, who think that me wanting a "God-honoring marriage" is silly, after all who really needs God as the center of your marriage if you love each other!? But to those people out there, I say to you.....Been there, done that. And I don't want it anymore.
So, you'll probably see some posts over the next several weeks about some things I've taken away from that passage and EVENTUALLY, if we're hanging out, you can ask me to recite the passage and I'll say, "With pleasure!"
I don't know who or what God has in store for me anymore. I used to think I knew God's plan, but pretty much everything I thought, God said, "Surprise! Not really!" So I've just been listening and learning to be patient....NOT one of my strong suits and Mom, I don't need you to agree.
Many of you know I've been really studying this year how to be the best wife I can be. I've been reading books like Before You Plan Your Wedding, Plan Your Marriage and Love and Respect. Well, plans have unfortunately changed, but my feelings haven't. No matter who God has for me, I still want to be the best. So I've decided to study and memorize Proverbs 31:10-31! It's a passage in the Bible about being a Godly wife.
I know there are people out there who think that this goal is stupid, who think that me wanting a "God-honoring marriage" is silly, after all who really needs God as the center of your marriage if you love each other!? But to those people out there, I say to you.....Been there, done that. And I don't want it anymore.
So, you'll probably see some posts over the next several weeks about some things I've taken away from that passage and EVENTUALLY, if we're hanging out, you can ask me to recite the passage and I'll say, "With pleasure!"
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Deliverance
I've been going through a rough time. A really rough time. I have been faced with a situation that I never thought would happen again....separation from a person I deeply love and care about. And yet, God manages to sustain me during this difficult time.
Something struck me as I was reading through my weekly Sown Bible study that I wanted to share with all of you: God may not save us from the problem, but He will deliver you out of it. Did you get that? He won't SAVE us, but He will DELIVER us.
So many times, over these last 2 weeks, I've cried out to God, begging Him to take my pain away, to give willing hearts allowing Him to work, to let me trust Him to fix it. And He's given the same answer to me the same amount of times....the experience I've had for the past year has grown me. It has changed who I am in Christ.
I don't just want to sit on the sidelines. I want to be in the game. I want to be an amazing mother. I want to teach my children how to love God with abandon. I want to teach them how to honor God and worship Him because He's worthy of it. I want to be a great wife. I want to honor my husband and respect him and cherish him as only a wife can. I want to be one with my husband. I want to put him first and him do the same. I want to always have his back and I want to know he always has mine. I want people to see me and say "WOW.....why does she always seem like, no matter what, she's joyful and content?!"
And that's why God doesn't save us. When He's ready, He'll deliver me. I have no doubt. I cry out to Him and I pray that things can be reconciled, but I also know that God will provide the most amazing future for Shawn's family and for mine, if we'll only let Him.
I'm thankful He DIDN'T save me from this, but I do look forward to His complete deliverance.
Something struck me as I was reading through my weekly Sown Bible study that I wanted to share with all of you: God may not save us from the problem, but He will deliver you out of it. Did you get that? He won't SAVE us, but He will DELIVER us.
So many times, over these last 2 weeks, I've cried out to God, begging Him to take my pain away, to give willing hearts allowing Him to work, to let me trust Him to fix it. And He's given the same answer to me the same amount of times....the experience I've had for the past year has grown me. It has changed who I am in Christ.
I don't just want to sit on the sidelines. I want to be in the game. I want to be an amazing mother. I want to teach my children how to love God with abandon. I want to teach them how to honor God and worship Him because He's worthy of it. I want to be a great wife. I want to honor my husband and respect him and cherish him as only a wife can. I want to be one with my husband. I want to put him first and him do the same. I want to always have his back and I want to know he always has mine. I want people to see me and say "WOW.....why does she always seem like, no matter what, she's joyful and content?!"
And that's why God doesn't save us. When He's ready, He'll deliver me. I have no doubt. I cry out to Him and I pray that things can be reconciled, but I also know that God will provide the most amazing future for Shawn's family and for mine, if we'll only let Him.
I'm thankful He DIDN'T save me from this, but I do look forward to His complete deliverance.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Prayers
I'm always encouraged when I listen to Peyton pray. She comes to Jesus exactly how he asks us to, with the faith of a child. She far exceeds her years in intelligence. Here's a little backstory and then her prayer from Saturday night.
Shawn left Saturday morning and I had the task of not only explaining to the girls what was going on with our wedding plans but also comforting them because they were already missing having him around. Throughout the day, Peyton was throwing major fits and being mean, so I told her to go to her room until she could calm down. It took about 15 minutes, but she finally relaxed enough for us to enjoy the rest of the day together.
That night, when she prayed, this is what she said..."Jesus, I wasn't able to control my feelings very well today and I took it out on Mommy. I know I'm sad because Shawn left, and I just want to ask you to help me feel better about it. I'm sorry to Mommy for not being nice and I want her and you to forgive me. Please wash my heart white and take that sin away and help me not to do it again."
I'M NOT KIDDING. Her exact words. I remember them because I was shocked they came out of a 6-year-old's mouth. This is why I want so much to live for God....for my kids.
And then, to top off my super fabulous evening, McKenna let me know that her and her friend would like to go to the church youth group this weekend!
Music to my ears from both my girls!!!
Shawn left Saturday morning and I had the task of not only explaining to the girls what was going on with our wedding plans but also comforting them because they were already missing having him around. Throughout the day, Peyton was throwing major fits and being mean, so I told her to go to her room until she could calm down. It took about 15 minutes, but she finally relaxed enough for us to enjoy the rest of the day together.
That night, when she prayed, this is what she said..."Jesus, I wasn't able to control my feelings very well today and I took it out on Mommy. I know I'm sad because Shawn left, and I just want to ask you to help me feel better about it. I'm sorry to Mommy for not being nice and I want her and you to forgive me. Please wash my heart white and take that sin away and help me not to do it again."
I'M NOT KIDDING. Her exact words. I remember them because I was shocked they came out of a 6-year-old's mouth. This is why I want so much to live for God....for my kids.
And then, to top off my super fabulous evening, McKenna let me know that her and her friend would like to go to the church youth group this weekend!
Music to my ears from both my girls!!!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
The Past, Present, or Future?
God has taken me on the most amazing journey this week.
In fact, so many things are running through my head that God has laid on me, you'll have to forgive me if I ramble. I'm probably going to bullet point it....THAT'S how excited I am!!!!
1. I started my Bible Study, SOWN, at church this last Tuesday. We are doing a ten week study of Philippians and already, I'm getting so much out of it. The biggest thing probably isn't even anything about Philippians, either. (I love how God takes something and transforms it for you into something so magnificent and special!) "God reveals Himself to us all the time, but it's up to us what we choose to do with that revelation"....this was written in the study and I was so taken by it. I wonder how many times God has shown me something and I choose to do things my own way because (to me) it's safe, when really, how much safer can you be than in doing what God has revealed for you to do?! This was huge for me.
2. How many times do we feel that Biblical knowledge translates to a strong walk with God and being a good spiritual leader? This came up in a conversation with some dear friends and it also really made me stop and reflect. I think that Biblical knowledge is important. I love that I know and have memorized verses from the Bible and I know a lot of Bible stories, because I think it's important to share those with my children. It shows them that I'm studying or have studied God's Word. But what about the Christian who is spiritually bankrupt (another great one I got from by Bible study!)? A person can know the Bible inside and out and being withering on the inside, not watering their spiritual garden.
This is how I was for years. I was saved when I was young. I memorized the verses and stories but when it came to having a walk with God, it was all talk. I could witness with the best of them, but if you had turned my body inside out and had seen my heart, you would've seen the Holy Spirit weeping because He was TRYING to speak to me and I had my earplugs in. With a FAITHFUL walk, the Bible knowledge comes. It may take time, but as long as you go to God, "I'm coming to you with a willing heart," and let Him take over, He will give to you the knowledge that you need to follow and trust Him. And showing your family that change of heart and your desire to follow Christ is quite possibly one of the greatest gifts you can give your family as a spiritual leader. God gave a husband his wife and a wife her husband to not only love each other, but also to help each other grow in grace and truth, following God's plan. One of the greatest things I can give to my future husband is my willingness to come along side him and nurture his desire to walk with God.
3. I began reading The Shack after several years of people telling me to pick it up and it has blown me away. Something in particular I read struck me so hard, it brought tears to my eyes. In the book Jesus challenges Mack with this question, "Do you live in the past, the present or the future?"
And I stopped. Such a small question. And I began to cry. I live in the past and the future. I live hanging on sometimes to the things that make me feel comfortable and secure. And I definitely am living in the future. As Shawn can attest, I'm constantly thinking about what needs to be done to strengthen our relationship and build my family and, in general, trying to figure the future out. But why do I do that?
Jesus said in the book, "It is your desperate attempt to get some control over something you can't. It is impossible for you to take power over the future because it isn't even real, nor will it ever be real. You try and play God, imagining the evil that you fear becoming reality, and then you try and make plans and contingencies to avoid what you fear....but when I dwell with you, I do so in the present--I live in the present."
Wow.....it makes me think about how even though I feel my walk with God is strong, how much stronger can it really be if I stop trying to create my future or hold on to my past and just rest in God....in the present? I want HIM to mold my future and I want to trust His design for me.
Have any of you had something rock you so hard, it made you stop like that and question "How much do I really trust in You, Lord?"
In fact, so many things are running through my head that God has laid on me, you'll have to forgive me if I ramble. I'm probably going to bullet point it....THAT'S how excited I am!!!!
1. I started my Bible Study, SOWN, at church this last Tuesday. We are doing a ten week study of Philippians and already, I'm getting so much out of it. The biggest thing probably isn't even anything about Philippians, either. (I love how God takes something and transforms it for you into something so magnificent and special!) "God reveals Himself to us all the time, but it's up to us what we choose to do with that revelation"....this was written in the study and I was so taken by it. I wonder how many times God has shown me something and I choose to do things my own way because (to me) it's safe, when really, how much safer can you be than in doing what God has revealed for you to do?! This was huge for me.
2. How many times do we feel that Biblical knowledge translates to a strong walk with God and being a good spiritual leader? This came up in a conversation with some dear friends and it also really made me stop and reflect. I think that Biblical knowledge is important. I love that I know and have memorized verses from the Bible and I know a lot of Bible stories, because I think it's important to share those with my children. It shows them that I'm studying or have studied God's Word. But what about the Christian who is spiritually bankrupt (another great one I got from by Bible study!)? A person can know the Bible inside and out and being withering on the inside, not watering their spiritual garden.
This is how I was for years. I was saved when I was young. I memorized the verses and stories but when it came to having a walk with God, it was all talk. I could witness with the best of them, but if you had turned my body inside out and had seen my heart, you would've seen the Holy Spirit weeping because He was TRYING to speak to me and I had my earplugs in. With a FAITHFUL walk, the Bible knowledge comes. It may take time, but as long as you go to God, "I'm coming to you with a willing heart," and let Him take over, He will give to you the knowledge that you need to follow and trust Him. And showing your family that change of heart and your desire to follow Christ is quite possibly one of the greatest gifts you can give your family as a spiritual leader. God gave a husband his wife and a wife her husband to not only love each other, but also to help each other grow in grace and truth, following God's plan. One of the greatest things I can give to my future husband is my willingness to come along side him and nurture his desire to walk with God.
3. I began reading The Shack after several years of people telling me to pick it up and it has blown me away. Something in particular I read struck me so hard, it brought tears to my eyes. In the book Jesus challenges Mack with this question, "Do you live in the past, the present or the future?"
And I stopped. Such a small question. And I began to cry. I live in the past and the future. I live hanging on sometimes to the things that make me feel comfortable and secure. And I definitely am living in the future. As Shawn can attest, I'm constantly thinking about what needs to be done to strengthen our relationship and build my family and, in general, trying to figure the future out. But why do I do that?
Jesus said in the book, "It is your desperate attempt to get some control over something you can't. It is impossible for you to take power over the future because it isn't even real, nor will it ever be real. You try and play God, imagining the evil that you fear becoming reality, and then you try and make plans and contingencies to avoid what you fear....but when I dwell with you, I do so in the present--I live in the present."
Wow.....it makes me think about how even though I feel my walk with God is strong, how much stronger can it really be if I stop trying to create my future or hold on to my past and just rest in God....in the present? I want HIM to mold my future and I want to trust His design for me.
Have any of you had something rock you so hard, it made you stop like that and question "How much do I really trust in You, Lord?"
Monday, February 14, 2011
WHAT?!
Peyton has a game that her friend and she made up and Peyton is a GENIUS at playing. It's a pretty funny game....if you're 6!
The game is called "What." The only object of this game is to get another person to say the word "what." So the leader (or the person who starts it) might say something like "Guess what?" to you and if you say the word, then you're it and you have to get someone to say it. There's no start to this game. Peyton will just randomly say to you, "Hey, guess what?" and if I say what, she goes crazy! "HAHAHAHAH, YOU SAID THE WORD!!!!" You can try and get her to stumble and say it and she just doesn't do it! You say something that requires a response like the word and she says "yes?" or "hunh?" or she spells it (because apparently that's legal in this game)! "Guess what, Peyton?" "W-H-A-T?" It's hilarious!
When she plays the game with someone who's new at it or isn't very good, it can be pretty entertaining. Enter Shawn....
He's been playing this game with her throughout the week, but she got him so good this weekend. He was trying to do whatever he could to trip her up. He was mumbling so low, you couldn't understand him and she kept saying, "hunh?" over and over again. So he says it one last time, to which she replies....
(exact words) "I don't know blank you're saying!" We just about died laughing! She is too good and I am amazed everyday at how quick she thinks on the fly!
The game is called "What." The only object of this game is to get another person to say the word "what." So the leader (or the person who starts it) might say something like "Guess what?" to you and if you say the word, then you're it and you have to get someone to say it. There's no start to this game. Peyton will just randomly say to you, "Hey, guess what?" and if I say what, she goes crazy! "HAHAHAHAH, YOU SAID THE WORD!!!!" You can try and get her to stumble and say it and she just doesn't do it! You say something that requires a response like the word and she says "yes?" or "hunh?" or she spells it (because apparently that's legal in this game)! "Guess what, Peyton?" "W-H-A-T?" It's hilarious!
When she plays the game with someone who's new at it or isn't very good, it can be pretty entertaining. Enter Shawn....
He's been playing this game with her throughout the week, but she got him so good this weekend. He was trying to do whatever he could to trip her up. He was mumbling so low, you couldn't understand him and she kept saying, "hunh?" over and over again. So he says it one last time, to which she replies....
(exact words) "I don't know blank you're saying!" We just about died laughing! She is too good and I am amazed everyday at how quick she thinks on the fly!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Nostalgic School Lunches
Peyton asked Shawn and I if we would eat lunch with her at school, so we trekked over there today. Now, for those of you who grew up in the Laramie County school system, you know that there was always one lunch that stood out better than the rest. It was the one hot lunch that almost everyone ate and they only had it once a month. You know what I'm talking about......chili and cinnamon roll day! And they STILL do it! (Only now my daughter is fortunate enough to have it TWO times a month!) I don't think the recipe has changed in the 20+ years they've been doing it. The only thing different is the cinnamon roll is now a wheat cinnamon roll.
I thought it was really funny when Shawn (who did NOT grow up here) looked around, saw several other parents eating with their children and asks, "Is this the only day they allow parents to come eat with their kids?" No, foolish one, it's just the only day that kids still LIKE eating hot lunch!
I thought it was really funny when Shawn (who did NOT grow up here) looked around, saw several other parents eating with their children and asks, "Is this the only day they allow parents to come eat with their kids?" No, foolish one, it's just the only day that kids still LIKE eating hot lunch!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Selfless Giving
I was doing my Bible reading today and a very short story popped out at me that I want to share. It can be found in Matthew 26:6-13. It's the story of the woman in Bethany who anointed Jesus with a very expensive perfume.
The disciples chastised her for "wasting" it by pouring it on Jesus and not doing something selfless like selling it and giving it to the poor. And it got me thinking about so many things. How many of us do that very thing with our time, money, or spiritual gifts? We don't give it to Jesus because we're so busy in our own lives that we foget to honor God. Or maybe we're involved in the church....so involved that we're running around in circles helping everyone else (giving to the "poor") all the while forgetting that the real reason we should be doing this is to honor God, not so people can see how hard we're working for God and not for self-gratification.
How about when we do something like selling something so that we can give it to the poor just like the disciples suggested....how many times, and I know I've been guilty of this in the past, do we make sure that everyone can see our sacrifice so that people will see how much we care or how much we love Jesus?
I want to be that woman. I want to be the woman that honors God with EVERYTHING. I want to be the woman who doesn't care who sees every time I serve Jesus. Who just serves Jesus because that's what she wants to do. Who gives her most expensive perfume to Jesus to anoint him. Who serves God because my love for Him is so great, it's like a void when I DON'T give to Him.
The disciples chastised her for "wasting" it by pouring it on Jesus and not doing something selfless like selling it and giving it to the poor. And it got me thinking about so many things. How many of us do that very thing with our time, money, or spiritual gifts? We don't give it to Jesus because we're so busy in our own lives that we foget to honor God. Or maybe we're involved in the church....so involved that we're running around in circles helping everyone else (giving to the "poor") all the while forgetting that the real reason we should be doing this is to honor God, not so people can see how hard we're working for God and not for self-gratification.
How about when we do something like selling something so that we can give it to the poor just like the disciples suggested....how many times, and I know I've been guilty of this in the past, do we make sure that everyone can see our sacrifice so that people will see how much we care or how much we love Jesus?
I want to be that woman. I want to be the woman that honors God with EVERYTHING. I want to be the woman who doesn't care who sees every time I serve Jesus. Who just serves Jesus because that's what she wants to do. Who gives her most expensive perfume to Jesus to anoint him. Who serves God because my love for Him is so great, it's like a void when I DON'T give to Him.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Good Fortune!
Tonight after church, I took the girls to Mongolian Grill for dinner. McKenna and I love the food and Peyton loves the fortune cookies. Anyway, we got a pretty big laugh out of our fortunes....MOST were pretty realistic!
Peyton's fortune:
My fortune:
McKenna's fortune:
Hope you enjoy as much as we did!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Clean Your Cup
How many of us leave the house in the morning and try to look our absolute worst? You know what I'm talking about....mismatched socks, teeth brushing forgotten, stains on the shirt, hair not combed?! Me either. We always try to look our best. But how many of us, even though we take the time to make sure our outward appearance is up to par, forget to check the inside? Which leads me to my Bible reading this morning.
Matthew 23: 25&26-Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.
Yuck. Self-reflection time...and I thought I was doing so good! I try so hard to make sure I look presentable and good when I go out, when I go to work, when I'm with my friends, or when I go to church, but how many times (if I really thought about it) does the outside look great to people, but my inside is black? I might have a poor attitude or be angry that morning. Maybe I'm grumpy because my favorite shoe went missing or my daughters aren't listening. Maybe I know God's telling me something I should do different in my life, and I'm openly defiant to what He's telling me to do Who knows what it is.
Jesus tells them clean up the inside, so that the outside can shine, too! When we have our hearts right and we're in submission to God's authority, it makes us shine. When we confess that sin to Christ or give up the bad attitude, we gleam. Our countenance is different. People see a difference.
I have not always had the most faithful walk. I accepted Christ when I was 5. I grew up in church and always knew what was right as far as having a personal relationship with Christ. But let me be the first to say, I usually NEVER made the right choices! And for the last 2 years, I've been working on changing that.
And people see it. People tell me they can hear the joy in heart when I speak, they can see the contentment I have after I decided to let God have control of my life. They see a peace that they didn't before. I don't write these things to be lifted up. I write these things because those 2 verses sum up what's different. I scrubbed out the inside of my "cup" so that my cup can run over....run over with His love.
I challenge you to clean your cup....inside AND out!
Matthew 23: 25&26-Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.
Yuck. Self-reflection time...and I thought I was doing so good! I try so hard to make sure I look presentable and good when I go out, when I go to work, when I'm with my friends, or when I go to church, but how many times (if I really thought about it) does the outside look great to people, but my inside is black? I might have a poor attitude or be angry that morning. Maybe I'm grumpy because my favorite shoe went missing or my daughters aren't listening. Maybe I know God's telling me something I should do different in my life, and I'm openly defiant to what He's telling me to do Who knows what it is.
Jesus tells them clean up the inside, so that the outside can shine, too! When we have our hearts right and we're in submission to God's authority, it makes us shine. When we confess that sin to Christ or give up the bad attitude, we gleam. Our countenance is different. People see a difference.
I have not always had the most faithful walk. I accepted Christ when I was 5. I grew up in church and always knew what was right as far as having a personal relationship with Christ. But let me be the first to say, I usually NEVER made the right choices! And for the last 2 years, I've been working on changing that.
And people see it. People tell me they can hear the joy in heart when I speak, they can see the contentment I have after I decided to let God have control of my life. They see a peace that they didn't before. I don't write these things to be lifted up. I write these things because those 2 verses sum up what's different. I scrubbed out the inside of my "cup" so that my cup can run over....run over with His love.
I challenge you to clean your cup....inside AND out!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Really....Exodus?!
For those of you who read the Bible, Exodus can be kind of boring. Don't get me wrong. There are stories and they're pretty good, but it tends to be a section of the Bible that sometimes get missed, because we're always looking for the Godwinks in places like Psalm, Proverbs, or any place in the New Testament!
But for some reason, God seems to love to speak to me from this book.
When my first husband walked out 8 years ago, I was experiencing some really low lows. He, in the beginning, was fighting me for custody, and I was really struggling. I was feeling overpowered and scared. One morning about 5 days before our hearing, I was reading my Bible. I always pray right before I get started reading that God would show me what He wants to say to me and help me to get something out of it, no matter how small or trivial. And that morning was no exception. He led me to read the story of how God led the Israelites to a great victory over the Egyptians, how He helped them, the little guy, against the great big, bad Egypt. And I knew He was trying to get my attention. I didn't need to worry. He was going to take care of me. And He did...the next day, Jason agreed to sign the papers, and just like that, it was taken care of.
Today, I was reading in Exodus and He spoke again! Exodus 17:12-"But Moses' hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and Hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun." To anyone else, just another verse in a boring chapter, but to me, it was like He was working in my heart! I've been struggling with a situation in my life. For now, I'd rather not write in detail about it, but here's the little that will help you understand right now, what I'm going through...
I want to live my life for Jesus. I want to surround myself with Christian friends and family. I want people to see the love of Jesus shining through me, through my relationships. I want to make my God first, my husband second, my children third, and THEN comes everyone else. And the struggle is that not everyone in my life wants to commit the same way I do.
So, here's where the verse comes in. Sometimes, I struggle with whether or not I'm doing the right thing in my situation....standing up for what I believe makes a good and solid relationship. And then I read a verse like this that just confirms God has me on the right track. God gave Moses 2 men, Aaron and Hur who, when Moses was tired from holding up his arms on that mountain so that the Israelites could win the battle, sat on either side of him and held his arms up for him. God surrounded him with good, Godly friends who helped to strengthen him. And that's what God wants me to do. He wants me to surround myself with good, Godly friends and family to build me up in my walk with God, to strengthen me when I feel weak, to encourage me to keep going. He doesn't want my closest friends/family to be the ones that make me stumble or not follow His will, or keep me from trusting Him.
And THAT makes me feel strong!
But for some reason, God seems to love to speak to me from this book.
When my first husband walked out 8 years ago, I was experiencing some really low lows. He, in the beginning, was fighting me for custody, and I was really struggling. I was feeling overpowered and scared. One morning about 5 days before our hearing, I was reading my Bible. I always pray right before I get started reading that God would show me what He wants to say to me and help me to get something out of it, no matter how small or trivial. And that morning was no exception. He led me to read the story of how God led the Israelites to a great victory over the Egyptians, how He helped them, the little guy, against the great big, bad Egypt. And I knew He was trying to get my attention. I didn't need to worry. He was going to take care of me. And He did...the next day, Jason agreed to sign the papers, and just like that, it was taken care of.
Today, I was reading in Exodus and He spoke again! Exodus 17:12-"But Moses' hands were heavy; and they took a stone, and put it under him, and he sat thereon; and Aaron and Hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun." To anyone else, just another verse in a boring chapter, but to me, it was like He was working in my heart! I've been struggling with a situation in my life. For now, I'd rather not write in detail about it, but here's the little that will help you understand right now, what I'm going through...
I want to live my life for Jesus. I want to surround myself with Christian friends and family. I want people to see the love of Jesus shining through me, through my relationships. I want to make my God first, my husband second, my children third, and THEN comes everyone else. And the struggle is that not everyone in my life wants to commit the same way I do.
So, here's where the verse comes in. Sometimes, I struggle with whether or not I'm doing the right thing in my situation....standing up for what I believe makes a good and solid relationship. And then I read a verse like this that just confirms God has me on the right track. God gave Moses 2 men, Aaron and Hur who, when Moses was tired from holding up his arms on that mountain so that the Israelites could win the battle, sat on either side of him and held his arms up for him. God surrounded him with good, Godly friends who helped to strengthen him. And that's what God wants me to do. He wants me to surround myself with good, Godly friends and family to build me up in my walk with God, to strengthen me when I feel weak, to encourage me to keep going. He doesn't want my closest friends/family to be the ones that make me stumble or not follow His will, or keep me from trusting Him.
And THAT makes me feel strong!
What I mean
The title--I'm sure you're all wondering, with bated breath, to hear why I chose this! Well, a couple of reasons. For those of you who know me and my past or my fears, know I have this enormous fear of flying. I barely survived a near catastrophic plane crash when I was 11, leaving me scarred for life. Ok...I'm lying. ONE engine went out over the ocean, we had to dump fuel (as a precaution) and had an uneventful emergency landing in Canada. Not really that bad, but when you're 11, it becomes you almost died. Unfortunately, as I've gotten older, my ridiculous fear has become somewhat melodramatic. And it's almost comical to listen to me as I prepare for a flight; I've got my Xanax, I pray about 56 times...days leading up to the flight, on the drive to get to the plane, as I'm checking in my bags, as I'm walking on the bridge to get to the plane, on the plane, as we're taking off, as we level off. You get the idea!
The other reason I chose that title is simple. I want my christian impact on my kids to be so great, they have to brace for it because of its power. I want to show them with my words and actions, just how amazing God is. How great a walk with God can really be. How, if you trust Christ to take care of you, His arms will wrap around you so tightly, that even in your darkest hour, you'll still feel the enormous weight of His love.
This blog will be about my 2 fabulous daughters and the amazing things they accomplish. It'll be about how God is working in our lives. At times, it may be brutally honest, exposing my weaknesses and greatest heartaches. At time, it'll probably be more therapy for me than fun for you! I hope whoever reads it gets something out of it, regardless. Enjoy!
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